About this episode

The episode discusses setting boundaries for pastoral care when former church members seek support after leaving.

First, an anonymous pastor shares a painfully honest question: a longtime member left a small church for a megachurch, but keeps reaching back for hospital visits and crisis care. The pastor wants to be gracious, but the situation feels like being the “pastoral side piece.” The guys talk through what is fair, what is faithful, and how to set boundaries that are clear without being petty. Then, the conversation takes a hard left into a headline story involving a large-church pastor, his family crisis, and the difference between “unwise” and “disqualifying.” The crew works through wisdom, reputational stewardship, pastoral qualification over seasons, and how premarital counseling should approach sex with holiness and guardrails, not curiosity. If you have ever felt pulled to provide care for people who are not actually committed to your church community, or if you have wondered where wisdom ends and disqualification begins, this episode is for you. Key topics Pastoral care and boundaries when former members still want “their pastor” Small church vs megachurch expectations, and how care works differently at scale “Don’t overfunction for dysfunction”: what that looks like in real…

People in this episode

Guest: anonymous pastor

Topics covered

• Pastoral care and boundaries
• Small church vs megachurch expectations
• Consumer ecclesiology after COVID
• Premarital counseling and sex
• Wisdom vs disqualification

Keywords

• pastoral care
• boundaries
• megachurch
• small church
• premarital counseling
• consumer ecclesiology
• wisdom
• disqualification

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: megachurch, small church, Kingdom, COVID, church

More episodes of Practical(ly) Pastoring

• Baby Dedications and Interfaith Prayer · May 4, 2026 · 35 min
• Big Days Bruised Feelings · April 13, 2026 · 34 min
• Pastors, Pensions, and Planning Ahead · April 6, 2026 · 31 min
• The Long Runway: Repentance, Trust, and Public Ministry · March 30, 2026 · 32 min
• The Care of Souls-Adam Powers · March 27, 2026 · 46 min
• New Show Alert · March 23, 2026 · 4 min

Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the Practical(ly) Pastoring podcast page.