Stop Saying "Calm Down"—Do This Instead
About this episode
The episode discusses the negative impact of telling someone to 'calm down' and offers alternative approaches for emotional support.
Telling someone to “calm down” usually does the opposite—it makes people feel dismissed, misunderstood, and even more activated. In this episode, the hosts explore why that phrase backfires in moments of anger, anxiety, disappointment, or excitement, and why it often comes from the other person feeling overwhelmed too. They unpack a better approach: co-regulation through validation, steady presence, gentler tone, and asking what support actually helps. Main Talking Points: • Validation first• Tone matters• Co-regulate together• Name the feeling• Ask what helps Give Me Discounts! AG1 - AG1 has become my go to every morning. Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! Cozy Earth - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Simple Practice - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for…
Sponsors
AG1, Beducate, Cozy Earth, Simple Practice, Spark My Relationship Course, Skylight, Quince
More episodes of Relationship Advice
- When To End A Relationship
- Don’t Punish the Vulnerability You’ve Been Begging For
- Attachment Styles on First Dates (What to Watch For)
- The Mental Load in Relationships (Why It Causes Stress)
- Navigating Friendship Conflict & Changing Friendship
- Motivation To Change In Relationships
Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the Relationship Advice podcast page.