About this episode

EJ and Tarah explore how small arguments can escalate into big fights due to emotional triggers and provide insights on managing conflict in relationships.

Have you ever found yourself in a heated argument with your partner and thought, "How did we get here so fast?" In this episode, EJ and Tarah unpack a real-life moment from their own marriage that started with a simple question about putting collars on the dogs—and escalated into frustration within seconds. What they discovered wasn't about dog collars at all. It was something they now call Trigger Transfer —the moment when one partner's long-standing trigger quietly becomes the other partner's trigger. Over time, couples stop reacting to what's actually happening in the present and begin reacting to the history they've built together. If you've ever felt like the smallest moments somehow turn into the biggest fights, this episode will help you understand why—and more importantly, how to interrupt the cycle before it takes over. In this episode you'll learn: Why seemingly insignificant moments trigger outsized reactions What Trigger Transfer is and how it develops over time How anticipatory anxiety keeps couples stuck in old patterns The difference between responding to your partner and responding to your nervous system's predictions A practical way to move from reaction to…

People in this episode

Hosts: EJ Kerwin, Tarah Kerwin

Topics covered

• conflict resolution
• relationship dynamics
• communication
• emotional triggers
• couples therapy

Keywords

• Trigger Transfer
• conflict
• emotional triggers
• couples
• communication
• relationship advice
• anxiety
• patterns

Mentioned in this episode

Places: Sedona Arizona

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