How to Accept What You Cannot Change: Anxious Times, Part 3 (#389)

How to Accept What You Cannot Change: Anxious Times, Part 3 (#389)

From Religion on the Mind by Dan Koch

March 26, 2026 · 32 min

About this episode

The episode discusses the concept of 'the necessary' and how accepting hard limits can alleviate anxiety.

I'm joined by my co-host Kristen Tideman for the third installment of the Anxious Times series. We dig into Emmy van Dersen's concept of "the necessary" — the hard limits baked into existence that we can't change, only accept — and explore how resisting these limits is one of the biggest drivers of unhealthy anxiety, whether you're navigating religious deconstruction, a new diagnosis, or just being alive in a chaotic world. In the Patron-only second half, Kristen shares the raw, emotional story of her MS diagnosis as a lived case study in running headfirst into hard limits, and we explore what it looks like to resist or deny the necessary — from anti-aging culture to political utopianism to religious change. Highlights: Defining "the necessary" (hard limits) Mortality, uncertainty, embodiment as givens Kristen's MS diagnosis and processing Religious change and false certainty Acceptance ≠ approval or minimizing Anxious Times Episode Part 1⁠ ⁠Anxious Times Episode Part 2 ___________________________________________ Follow Dan on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/dancoke/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Faith deconstruction resources…

People in this episode

Host: Dan Koch

Guest: Kristen Tideman

Topics covered

  • acceptance
  • anxiety
  • religious deconstruction
  • hard limits
  • MS diagnosis
  • uncertainty

Keywords

  • acceptance
  • anxiety
  • hard limits
  • religious change
  • MS diagnosis
  • uncertainty
  • embodiment

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