Why You Keep Chasing Approval Without Realizing It

About this episode

Dr. Aziz discusses the unconscious habit of seeking approval in social interactions and its impact on self-worth and authenticity.

Most people don’t walk into conversations thinking they’re trying to win approval. They believe they’re simply being polite, agreeable, or easy to get along with. Yet beneath the surface, many people are unknowingly running a subtle pattern—constantly scanning others for signs that they’re doing well, saying the right thing, or being liked. In this episode, Dr. Aziz explores what he calls “approval harvesting.” This is the unconscious habit of tracking other people’s reactions—looking for smiles, laughter, nods, or praise—to determine whether you’re okay. While it may seem harmless, this pattern can quietly turn conversations, social gatherings, dating, and even workplace interactions into performances where the goal becomes getting approval rather than expressing yourself. Through relatable examples—like walking into a dinner party and monitoring every reaction—Dr. Aziz shows how this internal “approval tracker” can create social anxiety, performance pressure, and a growing disconnection from your authentic self. Over time, you may start filtering, softening, or reshaping what you say just to keep yourself in the “good column” of others’ reactions. At the root of this pattern…

People in this episode

Host: Dr. Aziz

Topics covered

• approval seeking
• social anxiety
• self-worth
• people-pleasing
• authenticity

Keywords

• approval harvesting
• social interactions
• self-doubt
• performance pressure
• validation

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