Sonia Does The Steps: Step 3 - From Willpower to Willingness

About this episode

Sonia and Kathleen discuss Step Three of the 12-step program with Arlina Allen, focusing on the transition from willpower to willingness and the importance of surrendering to a higher power.

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen continue the 12-step series with Arlina Allen for a real, funny, and deeply honest conversation about Step Three: making a decision to turn will and life over to a higher power. Arlina helps unpack the language that can feel intimidating, especially the “God” part, and reframes Step Three as a practice of willingness, surrender, and learning to stop doing recovery alone. The conversation explores what it means to move from willpower to willingness, why “trying harder” often keeps people stuck, and how dependence on a higher power can actually create more freedom. Sonia and Arlina talk about abstinence, moderation, self-will, fear, control, family triggers, difficult conversations, and the emotional gymnastics of wondering whether there is an “easier, softer way” to stay sober. Along the way, they make Step Three feel practical and human. They discuss the difference between surrender and giving up, how intuition can show up as peace, why self-care is part of spiritual practice, and how resentment becomes a bridge into Step Four. The episode also touches on the Serenity Prayer, direct communication, emotional…

People in this episode

Hosts: Sonia Kahlon, Kathleen Killen

Guest: Arlina Allen

Topics covered

• 12-step recovery
• willingness
• surrender
• higher power
• self-care
• emotional responsibility

Keywords

• Step Three
• willpower
• surrender
• abstinence
• self-will
• Serenity Prayer
• emotional gymnastics

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