I AM the Love I AM Looking For

I AM the Love I AM Looking For

From Spirituality for the Politically Incorrect by Nancy Showalter

February 10, 2026 · 8 min

About this episode

Nancy Showalter discusses the concept that love is something we must cultivate within ourselves rather than seek from others.

Hello and welcome to today’s episode, an important episode. Because, one of the biggest lies we’re taught, and it shows up everywhere, in relationships, in spirituality, even in how we talk about God and that is that love is something we’re supposed to get from outside ourselves. We’re told to go find it. Earn it. Deserve it. Chase it. Fix ourselves enough so someone else will finally give it to us. And after years of contemplating this situation and watching people struggle, I’ve come to a really simple, but sometimes, uncomfortable realization: “I am the love I am looking for.” That sounds almost too simple, doesn’t it? But if you sit with it honestly, it explains a lot. Most of the time when we feel lonely, rejected, unseen, or needy, we assume it’s because someone else isn’t showing up for us the way we want them to. But what if the real issue isn’t that love is missing — it’s that we’re outsourcing it? For me, when I finally stopped waiting for love and acceptance to come from outside me and started practicing being loving toward myself , something remarkable happened. I found that I needed less from other people. And you will find the same. There won’t be the need to grasp…

People in this episode

Host: Nancy Showalter

Topics covered

  • self-love
  • relationships
  • spirituality
  • personal growth
  • acceptance

Keywords

  • love
  • self-acceptance
  • relationships
  • spirituality
  • personal development

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