Understanding PDA in Kids: Demand Avoidance, Anxiety, and the Drive for Autonomy (AuDHD/Autism)

About this episode

This episode explores Pathological Demand Avoidance in children, discussing its relationship with autism and anxiety, and offering insights for parents.

If your child looks “fine” at school but falls apart at home, melts down over everyday expectations (homework, transitions, getting out the door), or is sliding into school refusal, this episode will help you make sense of what might be going on, especially when autism, AuDHD, and anxiety are part of the picture. On this episode of The ADHD Kids Can Thrive Podcast, host Kate Brownfield sits down with Diane Gould, founder of PDA North America and co-author of Navigating PDA in America, for a grounded, parent-friendly conversation about Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) (often reframed as a Pervasive Drive for Autonomy). Diane explains why PDA is best understood through a nervous system lens (not “defiance”), why many traditional behavior plans can backfire, and what actually helps kids who experience everyday demands as a threat response. This episode is especially helpful if you’ve heard “PDA” mentioned in an evaluation, therapy, or online, and you’re trying to understand what’s real, what’s misunderstood, and what supports are most effective at home and at school. In this episode, we cover: What PDA is and how the definition has evolved (and why there’s still debate) Why PDA…

People in this episode

Host: Kate Brownfield

Guest: Diane Gould

Topics covered

• Pathological Demand Avoidance
• autism
• anxiety
• parenting strategies
• behavioral challenges
• nervous system

Keywords

• PDA
• demand avoidance
• autonomy
• school refusal
• behavior plans
• meltdowns
• anxiety

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: PDA North America

Books & works: Navigating PDA in America

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