How To Dom When You’re A Sub

How To Dom When You’re A Sub

From The Kink Consultant by Amanda Dames, The Kink Consultant

April 16, 2026 · 13 min

About this episode

In this episode, Amanda Dames explores how to embrace dominance as a submissive partner without feeling pressured or inauthentic.

How does one really become a Dom? In this episode, I answer one of the most frequently asked questions from my Ask Me Anything Mondays which is: how do I become a Dom? And more importantly, how do you do it without feeling awkward, forced, or like you’re playing a role that doesn’t actually fit you? We get into why so many people feel pressure to “perform” dominance, and why that’s usually the thing getting in your way. I walk you through what Dom energy actually is, which is less about control and more about presence, and how you’re creating a space or “bubble” that your submissive steps into. We also talk about different styles of Doming, why you don’t have to be the kind of Dom you’re used to receiving, and how asking questions and actually listening is one of the most underrated skills you can have. If you’ve ever thought “my partner wants me to Dom and I have no idea how,” this is where you start. This episode will help you let go of the pressure, figure out what kind of Dom you want to be, and step into it in a way that feels natural, confident, and actually enjoyable. I’M HOSTING A LIVE CLASS! Join here: https://www.amandadames.com/domenergy2 Connect with Amanda…

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Host: Amanda Dames

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