The Kink Consultant

Why does the word "masculinity" feel so loaded? I went looking for answers, and found the perfect person to break it down.In this episode, I sit down with Matt Salis, a behavioral health writer and researcher with a master's degree in sexual health and over a decade of experience in addiction and emotional abuse recovery. We get into the difference between toxic masculinity and what Matt calls emotional masculinity and why the manosphere is selling men a losing strategy. We also talk about emotional safety, resentment processing, the connection between vulnerability and sexual satisfaction, and how the consent culture in the kink community offers a model for healthier relationships everywhere.If you have ever wondered what masculinity looks like without the toxicity, or how emotional intimacy actually impacts your sex life, this conversation is going to change the way you think about both. Tune in, take what resonates, and keep exploring what feels authentic to you.Connect with Matt Salishttps://soberandunashamed.com/https://un-toxicated.com/Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Book A Consult Call with Amanda https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultDownload the BDSM Checklist Here: https://www.amandadames.com/resource_redirect/landing_pages/2151620560Courses and Resources to Help Your Kink Journey: https://www.amandadames.com/store

Not sure what to expect on a kinky cruise? You're about to find out, and it's way more fun (and safe) than you think! In this episode, I’m not just going to have one, not two, but four guests! I sit down with Lee from Concasions and the powerhouse team behind Carnivale Risqué (Tank, Goddess Ellez, and Obsidian) to talk about what it's really like on a kinky cruise. These industry veterans have been teaching kink at lifestyle parties for over a decade, and they break down how they turned empty dungeons into packed playspaces by making BDSM approachable, glamorous, and fun. We dig into the upcoming Kinky Cruise in April, what to expect as a first-timer, how consent culture creates the safest party spaces, and why "swingsters" (swingers + kinksters) are now a whole community. They also get real about living as a throuple, teaching workshops on unleashing your authentic self, and why vulnerability is the sexiest thing you can bring to any relationship.This episode is part prep guide, part inspiration, and 100% permission to explore. If you've been thinking about attending a lifestyle event or just want to understand what makes these spaces so magnetic, this conversation will get you ready to dive in.Don’t let the Kinky Cruise sail without you! Go to http://www.kinkycruise.com and use the code TKC50 to get $50 offDownload the Bliss Cruise app and Celebrity Cruise app to plan your scheduleConnect with Tank, Goddess Ellez, and Obsidianhttps://carnivalerisque.com/https://www.instagram.com/carnivalerisque/https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063613538670Connect with Amandahttps://www.amandadames.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/https://www.amandadames.com/thereadinglist

Non-monogamy isn't actually that complicated…our fear of talking about it is. And that fear keeps way too many people stuck pretending they want something they don't.In this episode, I sit down with Samia Mounts, creator and host of the ClosetEd podcast, for a raw conversation about non-monogamy, jealousy, and why emotional maturity matters more than the number of partners you have. Samia shares her journey from believing in "the one" to discovering she's wired for multiple loves. We talk about her marriage that became a friendship, navigating new relationship energy, and the difference between boundaries and control. She gets real about the mistakes she made, the red flags she ignored, and what it takes to build trust when relationships shift.If you have ever felt like you were meant to love more than one person and had no idea what to do with that truth, this conversation is for you.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Why Everyone Is In “The Closet” and Society's Norms12:17 Polyamory and Personal Experiences32:42 Defining Relationship Agreements and Boundaries34:54 Navigating Non-Monogamous Relationships42:19 Polyamory vs. Consensual Non-MonogamyConnect with Samia Mounts https://www.samiamounts.com/https://www.instagram.com/samia.mountshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBkJT8ttJYCyIS8ig6gZ7pAhttps://www.tiktok.com/@samia.mountshttps://www.samiamounts.com/podcastBook a Consult with Amanda Here:https://www.amandadames.com/book-a-consultConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Let's talk about the thing no one wants to touch: DDLG, innocence play, and why "daddy" has become the internet's new favorite word. In today’s episode, I sit down with Rena Martine, author and former sex crimes prosecutor turned women's intimacy coach, for one of the most honest conversations about taboo fantasies, shame, and reclaiming pleasure without apology. We dig into why powerful women crave submission, what innocence play actually means (spoiler: it's not what you think), how survivors sometimes use kink for healing, and why society will sell you slutty Halloween costumes but shame you for the desires behind them.This episode is permission-giving, unflinching, and absolutely necessary. If you've ever felt shame for wanting something "wrong," this conversation is your permission slip to want what you want.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Rena's Journey from Prosecutor to Intimacy Coach15:15 Understanding DDLG and Age Play28:37 Exploring Society's Double Standards29:38 Privilege and Normalizing Taboo Discussions31:09 Non-Monogamy and Societal Judgments32:16 Polyamory and Public Perception37:25 Kink Acceptance and Media Representation42:54 Navigating DDLG Dynamics47:48 Empowerment Through KinkConnect with Rena Martinehttps://www.renamartine.com/bookhttps://www.instagram.com/_rena.martine_/Join the Couples Retreat! https://www.amandadames.com/couples-retreatOrder Playground Miracle Melts here! https://helloplayground.com/products/miracle-melts-hydrating-insertConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Being obsessed with someone can be so embarrassing. Frankly, you barely even know this person but somehow your brain has decided that this person is now the main character of your life. Been there, done that. In this episode, I sit down with my coach, Kirsten Aut to talk about obsession in a way that feels honest, relatable, and way less shameful. We unpack why obsession happens, why trying to “just stop thinking about it” never works, and how desire, fantasy, and attachment get all tangled together when someone lights up your nervous system just enough to throw you off balance.If you have ever thought, “Why am I like this?” or caught yourself spiraling over someone you barely dated, this episode will make you feel seen, understood, and a lot less alone.Episode Highlights: 00:00 Understanding Obsession and Attachment12:01 Realizations and Reflections on Obsession27:20 Growth Mindset in Relationships29:37 Navigating Modern Dating35:01 Trusting Your Intuition38:51 Manifestation and Personal GrowthConnect with Kristen Authttps://www.newbadassyou.com/https://www.instagram.com/thekristenaut/https://www.tiktok.com/@thekristenautJoin the Couples Retreat! https://www.amandadames.com/couples-retreatGet your BDSM Checklist here: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlistConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠