Dials and Switches

Dials and Switches

From The Save The Marriage Podcast by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

April 29, 2026 · 14 min · Episode 599

About this episode

This episode discusses the complexity of marriage and the misconception of seeking simple solutions to complex issues, emphasizing the importance of adjusting various aspects of a relationship rather than looking for a single switch to fix problems.

No, this isn't some electrical engineering idea. Instead, it has more to do with human nature. We often want to find the switch, the on/off switch for some situation. Turn off stress by doing this, turn on fitness by doing this. On or off. With a switch. This causes us to be looking for some super-easy, simple solution... often to complex issues. Particularly when it is a marriage crisis. A marriage -- much less a marriage crisis -- is not an on/off situation, and no simple switch will turn it around. Yet that is what many people want. The solution that is as easy as flipping a switch. Yes, your marriage can be saved and improved, but not with some simple switch. Instead, think about it as dials. Instead of a master switch, there can be a number of dials. Dialing up connection. Dialing down conflict. Dialing up warmth. Dialing down resentment. We discuss this tendency to look for a switch -- and the need to focus on the dials -- in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast. Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES Why Connection is so Important Dangerous Tricks The No-Contact Rule 3C Approach Save The Marriage System

People in this episode

Host: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Topics covered

  • marriage crisis
  • human nature
  • stress management
  • relationship dynamics
  • conflict resolution

Keywords

  • marriage
  • stress
  • connection
  • conflict
  • resilience
  • dials
  • solutions

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