Why Dismissive-Avoidants Get So Triggered by Codependent Behavior (Codependency Podcast Series)

Why Dismissive-Avoidants Get So Triggered by Codependent Behavior (Codependency Podcast Series)

From The Secure Husband by M. Bruce Abbott, M.A, CPC

June 17, 2026 · 25 min · Episode 172

About this episode

This episode explores the painful relationship dynamics between a codependent husband and a dismissive-avoidant wife, highlighting the challenges of pursuit and connection.

Why does the more you pursue connection, the more your spouse seems to pull away? In this episode of The Secure Husband Podcast, we explore one of the most painful relationship dynamics: the codependent husband and the dismissive-avoidant wife. Many men believe they are helping the relationship by trying harder, communicating more, and seeking more connection. Yet those efforts often create more distance. You'll learn why dismissive-avoidants often experience pursuit as pressure, why shame sits underneath many avoidant behaviors, and why relationship conversations can feel overwhelming for them. We also discuss how anxiety, codependency, emotional dependence, and the need for reassurance can unintentionally fuel the cycle. Most importantly, you'll learn why becoming more secure often changes the dynamic more than trying harder ever could. If this relationship pattern sounds familiar, this episode will help you understand what may be happening beneath the surface. If you'd like help working through your own marriage, schedule a free 30-minute consultation at SecureHusband.com. It's simply a conversation about what's happening in your marriage and how coaching might work for you…

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