Why You Can't Get the Love You Want — And How to Change That

About this episode

Ross Rosenberg discusses the impact of Self-Love Deficit Disorder on relationships and the reasons why effort alone cannot lead to the love one desires.

In this podcast, therapist and author Ross Rosenberg — with 37 years of experience — explains why working harder, being kinder, or trying to "figure out" your partner will never get you the love you crave. The real problem? Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD). Ross breaks down how core shame, pathological loneliness, and childhood attachment trauma keep you trapped in cycles with narcissists — and why no amount of effort can fix a relationship built on an unstable foundation. He introduces his...

People in this episode

Host: Ross Rosenberg

Topics covered

• self-love
• relationships
• narcissism
• attachment trauma
• mental health

Keywords

• self-love
• relationships
• narcissism
• core shame
• attachment trauma
• mental health
• pathological loneliness

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• 9 Habits That Reveal You're Codependent (And How to Break Them) · May 27, 2026 · 25 min
• The Broken Picker: Why Trauma Keeps Choosing Your Partners · May 1, 2026 · 28 min
• When Divorce Hurts Kids: What to Do and How to Navigate It, with Dr. Tina Paone · May 1, 2026 · 36 min
• Understanding Narcissistic Abuse with Chelsey Brooke Cole · April 29, 2026 · 45 min
• Narcissistic Rage Explained: The Shame, the Injury, and Why They Explode · April 14, 2026 · 39 min
• Inside the Mind of a Codependent: The Hidden World of Self-Love Deficit Disorder · April 10, 2026 · 33 min