Episode 6 | Fear of Abandonment, Emotional Neglect & Seeking Attention from Romantic Interests as a Soothing Strategy

About this episode

This episode explores the intense fear of abandonment in relationships and how emotional neglect shapes coping strategies through attention and validation.

In this solo episode of The Trauma Educator Podcast, I explore why fear of abandonment can feel so intense and challenging in relationships and how emotional neglect and misattunement shape a nervous system that learns to survive through attention, validation and performance. We look at how unmet early needs create an internal sense of emptiness and starvation, why receiving romantic attention can feel soothing but never truly regulating, and how performance, controlling behaviours and reassu...

Topics covered

• fear of abandonment
• emotional neglect
• attention seeking
• romantic relationships
• nervous system
• validation
• performance

Keywords

• emotional regulation
• internal emptiness
• controlling behaviors

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: The Trauma Educator Podcast

More episodes of The Trauma Educator Podcast

• Episode 18 | Complex Trauma, Emotional Neglect and How Self-Attunement Can Help you Heal · June 8, 2026 · 32 min
• Episode 17 | Breathwork, Trauma, Masculinity and the Search for Meaning · May 4, 2026 · 50 min
• Episode 16 | The Truth About Emotional Eating, Trauma and Recovery · April 27, 2026 · 50 min
• Episode 15 | Depression, Trauma, and the Nervous System: The Missing Piece in Healing · April 15, 2026 · 46 min
• Episode 14 | Dysfunctional systems, the loneliness of being the family scapegoat and building self-trust after trauma with Dr. Deniz Ahmadinia · April 13, 2026 · 50 min
• Episode 13 | Accessing our power after complex trauma through instinct, the symbolic life and shadow work with Hannah Fraser Moore · March 30, 2026 · 54 min