Why Fitting In Isn’t Belonging

Why Fitting In Isn’t Belonging

From Unfolding: Audio Letters from the Middle of Becoming by Erica Voell

March 9, 2026 · 15 min · Season 2 · Episode 23

About this episode

The episode explores the difference between fitting in and truly belonging, reflecting on personal experiences and patterns developed in youth.

Book your Life Patterns Review here. In this episode, I reflect on a version of myself that has been coming up lately – my 13-year-old self. The girl who felt awkward, different, and like she didn’t belong anywhere. I share how those early experiences of trying to fit in shaped years of people-pleasing, following the “should” path, and choosing careers and expectations that never quite felt right. Many women in midlife still carry the patterns they developed when they were young – the ones that kept the peace, made others comfortable, or tried to prove their worth. This episode explores the difference between fitting in and truly belonging, and why noticing these patterns is the first step to changing them. Follow me on Substack: https://substack.com/@ericavoell Get the latest email newsletter: https://ericavoell.com/newsletter Connect with me: erica[at]ericavoell[dot]com Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericavoell.coaching/

People in this episode

Host: Erica Voell

Topics covered

  • belonging
  • fitting in
  • people-pleasing
  • midlife
  • self-reflection
  • personal growth

Keywords

  • belonging
  • fitting in
  • people-pleasing
  • midlife
  • self-improvement
  • personal growth
  • self-reflection

More episodes of Unfolding: Audio Letters from the Middle of Becoming

Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the Unfolding: Audio Letters from the Middle of Becoming podcast page.