I Gave Him an Ultimatum. Now What?

I Gave Him an Ultimatum. Now What?

From Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel by Esther Perel Global Media

May 11, 2026 · 58 min · Season 8 · Episode 43

About this episode

A couple grapples with the consequences of an ultimatum in their polyamorous relationship after one partner fails to meet it.

A person gives their partner an ultimatum, and they fail to meet it. What happens then to the relationship? This couple comes to Esther with that question, wondering what future, if any, might be possible for them. A painful misalignment lies at the center of their polyamorous relationship. She wants to be an integrated part of his life, including his other partnerships; he wants to keep his relationships separate and invisible. Tired of feeling like a secret, she finally gave him an ultimatum: make me a visible part of your life. He wouldn't do it, and now they are left wondering if it will be possible to stay together. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just one moment in someone’s journey. So even though the sessions are anonymous, please remember that real people are behind them and they may be reading your comments. My annual Sessions Live two-day live event is coming up next month! Through…

People in this episode

Host: Esther Perel

Topics covered

  • relationships
  • ultimatums
  • polyamory
  • communication
  • visibility

Keywords

  • ultimatum
  • relationship dynamics
  • polyamorous
  • communication issues
  • visibility in relationships

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