About this episode

In this episode, Casey shares insights on finding meaning as a parent of a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance and introduces a practical goal-setting tool.

When autonomy is low, meaning has to be high. That is what I learned during the two years I spent as a full-time caregiver for my older son, isolated in our home, and putting myself physically between him and his eighteen-month-old brother when things got bad. In this episode I share how I found a sustaining "why" during that period, and how other families I have worked with have found theirs. I also introduce a practical tool I call the "hang your hat on the day" goal: a way of redirecting from goals that depend on another person's behavior to goals that are entirely within your own control, so that you can give yourself genuine credit for what you are doing every single day. Key Takeaways When Autonomy Is Low, Meaning Has to Be High | 00:00:00 Parenting a PDA child or teen introduces an almost constant rock-and-a-hard-place dynamic: every choice has a cost, and there is no option that gives you genuine autonomy without a trade-off. When you want to go to the gym, there is a cost when you come back. When your partner takes over for a few hours, there is a cost to their energy level. That sustained low autonomy is depleting in a way most people around us will never understand…

People in this episode

Host: Casey

Topics covered

• parenting
• Pathological Demand Avoidance
• finding meaning
• caregiving
• autonomy
• family dynamics

Keywords

• Pathological Demand Avoidance
• parenting
• caregiver
• autonomy
• family
• meaning
• goals

Mentioned in this episode

Places: Michigan

More episodes of At Peace Parents Podcast

• Throwback: 5 Ways to Recognize Pathological Demand Avoidance at School | Ep. 179 · September 8, 2026 · 30 min
• Educational Exclusion, Radical Trust, and What PDA-Affirming Schooling Looks Like: Otto Specht School | Ep. 178 · September 1, 2026 · 1h 12m
• One Year Later: Justin's Story of Progress With His PDA Son | Ep. 177 · August 25, 2026 · 49 min
• Basic Needs and Pathological Demand Avoidance: Toileting, Sleep, Hygiene, Eating, and Safety | Ep. 176 · August 18, 2026 · 18 min
• Throwback: Is Pathological Demand Avoidance the Same as Autism, ADHD, or Anxiety? | Ep. 175 · August 11, 2026 · 23 min
• Why You're Walking On Eggshells: Cumulative Nervous System Activation And Your PDA Child Or Teen | Ep. 174 · August 4, 2026 · 18 min

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