Boundaries Aren’t B*tchy!

Boundaries Aren’t B*tchy!

From But For Real by Valerie Martin & Emerson Ryder

April 15, 2026 · 38 min · Episode 42

About this episode

The episode discusses the importance of setting boundaries and challenges the negative perceptions associated with them.

What if the thing you’ve been calling “being rude”… is actually just having a boundary? Yeah. Let’s talk about it. Because somewhere along the way—especially for women, people-pleasers, and anyone raised to prioritize politeness over honesty—boundaries got branded as selfish, cold, or straight-up b*tchy. And honestly? That narrative is doing damage. In this episode of But For Real, we’re doing a full, unfiltered deep dive into boundaries—what they actually are, why they feel so uncomfortable, and how your relationship with them changes as you grow up (or burn out). We’re talking about the subtle ways we’ve been conditioned to shrink, overextend, and contort ourselves to keep the peace… and the moment you realize: “ Wait… I actually can’t keep living like this .” We get into the real-life evolution of boundaries—from being overly accommodating and “nice” to realizing that clarity is not cruelty. And yes, we’re saying the quiet part out loud: Not everyone who sets a boundary is a b*tch… …but also? You might have to tolerate being perceived that way anyway. Cool cool cool. 🫠 Because boundaries aren’t just personal. They’re relational. Cultural. Political. Survival. So if you’ve…

People in this episode

Hosts: Valerie Martin, Emerson Ryder

Topics covered

  • boundaries
  • self-improvement
  • people-pleasing
  • mental health
  • relationships

Keywords

  • boundaries
  • self-care
  • people-pleasing
  • mental health
  • relationships
  • personal growth
  • assertiveness

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