We Studied 4,000+ Dates… Everything You Know About Attraction Is a Lie

About this episode

In this episode, Sean Kim interviews relationship scientist Paul Eastwick about the surprising science behind attraction and compatibility in dating.

UC Davis psychology professor and relationship scientist Paul Eastwick has spent two decades running studies that challenge everything we think we know about attraction — from speed dating experiments to 4,000 blind dates — and the findings will surprise you. In this episode, we break down why the traits you think you want in a partner don't actually predict who you'll be attracted to in real life, why dating apps may be making your love life worse, and the science behind what actually builds lasting chemistry and compatibility. If you're dating, in a relationship, or just want to understand how attraction really works, this conversation will change the way you think about it.In our conversation we discuss: (1:10) Why Dating Advice Gets Attraction Wrong (2:28) The Evolutionary Reason Humans Bond (7:08) What Speed Dating Reveals About Attraction (13:03) Why Dating Apps Distort Real Chemistry (18:27) How Culture Shapes Who We Want (25:49) Why Compatibility Can’t Be Predicted (31:45) What Actually Matters Long Term (42:24) Why Modern Dating Feels Like a Market (52:58) The 3-Date Rule for Real Connection (59:54) The Questions That Build Chemistry (1:10:10) Why Passion Fades in…

People in this episode

Guest: Paul Eastwick

Topics covered

• attraction
• dating
• relationships
• chemistry
• compatibility

Keywords

• dating advice
• speed dating
• dating apps
• modern dating
• long-term relationships

Mentioned in this episode

Products: Bonded By Evolution

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