About this episode

Dr. Margaret Paul discusses why explaining oneself in conflicts often exacerbates the situation and offers insights on navigating relational challenges more effectively.

Have you ever tried to explain yourself in a conflict — and the more you explained, the worse it got? In this insightful and deeply practical episode, Dr. Margaret Paul explores one of the most frustrating patterns in relationships: why explaining, defending, and justifying yourself rarely leads to understanding. She explains that when someone is operating from their wounded self, they are not in their logical upper brain. They are not available to hear you. And no amount of explaining will change that. Dr. Paul walks through what is actually happening beneath the surface of relational conflict, what the other person is really asking for when they come at you with anger or blame, and how to shift from the urge to explain and control into the loving adult who can respond with presence, curiosity, and care. She shares practical examples of what this looks like in real moments including how to comment on intent rather than content, how to actively listen, and how to take a sacred pause when your wounded self is ready to defend. Come explore a more loving and effective way of navigating conflict in the Inner Bonding podcast. Enjoy the podcast? Subscribe and leave a 5-star review…

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