249. Relationship math that causes defensiveness

249. Relationship math that causes defensiveness

From Lit AF Relationships by Sarah Cohan

June 3, 2026 · 17 min · Episode 249

About this episode

This episode discusses how getting caught in relationship math can harm connections with partners and offers strategies to improve communication and understanding.

If you’re getting caught hashing over the details and disagreeing with your partner’s version of the story you are stuck in relationship math and it’s hurting your relationship. When we nitpick the details our partner has shared we’re losing out on the big picture, how they’re feeling. I share the most important thing to work on to get out of relationship math so you can start connecting with your partner. Tune in to learn how to drop this harmful habit. Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you feel safe and supported. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043 Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/ If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching, I’d love to help drop the doubt that you’re not in the relationship and feel seen and heard by your partner. Get started by booking a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

People in this episode

Host: Sarah Cohan

Topics covered

  • relationship dynamics
  • communication
  • attachment styles
  • defensiveness
  • self-improvement

Keywords

  • relationship math
  • defensiveness
  • communication
  • attachment style
  • healthy relationships

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Lit AF Relationships, Instagram, Google Forms

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