Parenting Kids With Trauma: When Love Isn’t Enough

Parenting Kids With Trauma: When Love Isn’t Enough

From Parenting Different by Parenting Different

March 5, 2026 · 57 min

About this episode

Melissa Smallwood shares her journey as an adoptive parent and trauma therapist, discussing the complexities of parenting children with trauma.

Melissa Smallwood’s story is layered with resilience, heartbreak, healing, and deep commitment to children from hard places. Removed from her home as a child and placed into foster care, Melissa aged out of the system as a teen mom, never imagining that one day she would become both an adoptive parent and a trauma therapist working in child welfare. In this powerful conversation, she shares how her lived experience shaped the way she parents children with complex trauma and how her family ultimately grew to include seven children through a combination of step-parent adoption, foster care adoption, and unexpected family connections. The conversation dives into the realities many adoptive and foster parents face but rarely talk about—triggering moments when parenting mirrors your own childhood trauma, the painful decision to pursue residential treatment for a child, and the emotional toll of loving kids who are struggling deeply. Melissa offers wisdom on maintaining connection, prioritizing safety for the entire family, and showing up for children even when healing takes years. You’ll also hear practical guidance for parenting trauma-affected teens how to balance accountability…

People in this episode

Guest: Melissa Smallwood

Topics covered

  • trauma parenting
  • foster care
  • adoption
  • child welfare
  • mental health
  • resilience

Keywords

  • trauma
  • adoptive parenting
  • foster care adoption
  • childhood trauma
  • mental health
  • healing
  • residential treatment
  • life skills
  • compassion
  • accountability

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