Parenting Different

The foster care system feels massive. Broken. Overwhelming. And if you’re a foster or adoptive parent in the thick of it, it can feel like your voice doesn’t matter at all.In this powerful conversation, Kat Momen shares how she went from overwhelmed foster mom to grassroots advocate knocking on legislators’ doors, testifying at the state house, and fighting for children to have legal representation in court. But this isn’t a story about politics. It’s a story about courage. About choosing child safety over comfort. About learning to conflict well, document wisely, and speak up even when retaliation feels real.If you’ve ever walked into a courtroom and wondered, “When are we going to talk about the kids?” this episode is for you. You’ll walk away with practical, doable steps to advocate in your case, in your state, and in your own home. Change doesn’t happen all at once. It starts with one voice refusing to stay silent.What You’ll Learn:Why children in foster care often lack true legal advocacyHow to conflict professionally (without burning bridges)Practical steps to protect yourself through documentationHow to contact your state legislators—and what to sayThe power of showing up in court prepared and professionalHow to overcome fear of retaliation while advocating for child safetyWhy slow, steady grassroots work creates lasting changeJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

Eating struggles in foster and adoptive homes are rarely about food alone. In this powerful and deeply affirming episode, Anna sits down with Madison a registered dietitian and adoptive mom to explore how trauma fundamentally reshapes a child’s relationship with eating. From food hoarding and extreme pickiness to fear, control, and shame at the table, this conversation names what so many parents experience but few know how to address.Madison shares why common advice like restricting snacks, labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” or locking up the pantry can unintentionally deepen fear and dysregulation. Instead, she offers a trauma-informed framework centered on felt safety, trust, and connection reminding parents that healing begins when children no longer have to protect themselves around food. This episode will help caregivers shift from fear-based feeding to relationship-based nourishment.If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, judged, or worried you’re “doing it wrong” when it comes to feeding your child with trauma, this episode will meet you with clarity, compassion, and hope.What You’ll LearnWhy trauma often shows up as food hoarding or picky eatingHow food insecurity impacts a child’s brain and behaviorWhy traditional nutrition rules don’t work for traumatized kidsThe hidden harm of labeling foods as “good” or “bad”How trust and felt safety shape a child’s eating habitsTrauma-informed alternatives to restriction and controlHow parents can model a healthy relationship with food👉 Join the Parenting Different newsletter here:https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

What does it really mean to choose adoption, and how does that decision stay with you for life? In Part 1 of this deeply honest conversation, Janelle Basham shares her story of becoming a birth mother at 17 and the love, loss, and courage behind making an adoption plan. With vulnerability and clarity, Janelle takes us back to the beginning, navigating pregnancy, racial tension, limited support, and the painful realization that love alone isn’t always enough to parent well.Janelle challenges the myths and stereotypes surrounding birth mothers and adoption, speaking openly about grief, identity, and the lifelong “hole in the heart” that placement can leave behind. As both a birth mother and a leader in adoption advocacy, she offers a perspective rooted in lived experience, one that reminds us adoption is not about being unwanted, but about sacrifice, responsibility, and doing the best you can with what you have.This is Part 1 of a powerful two-part series that lays the emotional foundation for understanding adoption with greater compassion, honesty, and care.What You’ll LearnWhat leads a birth mother to choose adoptionWhy love alone isn’t enough to parent a childHow parenting plans and adoption plans can exist togetherThe long-term grief birth mothers carry after placementWhy adoption is not about rejection or abandonmentHow harmful stereotypes about birth parents affect everyoneWhat it really means to live with loss, not “move on” from it👉 Join the Parenting Different newsletter here:https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

In this powerful and deeply vulnerable episode, Lainey Hartley shares her extraordinary journey from childhood neglect, foster care, and kinship care to becoming a foster mom, adoptive mom, author, and advocate. She opens up about the moments that shaped her, being pulled from her mother’s arms as a toddler, surviving homelessness, navigating an abusive relationship as a teen, and learning to raise children while still carrying the weight of her own unmet childhood needs.Lainey and Anna explore the emotional collision that happens when parenting reawakens the wounds you thought you had outgrown. They talk about postpartum triggers, perfectionism learned through survival, and what it feels like to foster children whose stories painfully mirror your own. Through it all, Lainey reveals how healing, both slow and powerfully, has softened the way she parents, helping her move from control to connection and from survival to safety.This conversation is a testament to resilience, repair, and the ongoing work of breaking generational cycles. It is a must-listen for any parent navigating trauma, identity, and the complex journey toward becoming the parent they needed as a child.What You’ll LearnHow childhood trauma resurfaces when you become a parentThe emotional impact of fostering when you were once in foster careWhy control and perfectionism show up in parenting after traumaThe transformative power of repair, apology, and emotional safetyWhat it means to separate your story from your child’sHow healing reshapes the way we respond, connect, and loveJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

In this powerful episode, Abbey Ramirez shares the winding, vulnerable, and hope-filled road that led her to motherhood through embryo adoption and eventually to welcoming twins through domestic infant adoption. After years of unexplained infertility, repeated losses, and the emotional weight of uncertainty, Abbey discovered embryo adoption, an option she barely knew existed. Her story takes us inside the medical, emotional, and relational complexities of transferring embryos, navigating open donor relationships, and holding joy and grief at the same time.Abbey opens up about the moment she learned only one embryo had survived, the heartbreak of a failed second transfer, and how she carried both gratitude and sorrow in the same breath. Then, in a stunning twist of timing and grace, she and her husband were chosen to adopt twins almost exactly one year later. Abbey speaks with clarity, warmth, and honesty about becoming a mom through multiple forms of adoption, and how she’s already laying the groundwork to talk about genetics, identity, and belonging with her children.This episode is a comforting, educational, and profoundly human look at infertility, embryo adoption, and the surprising ways families grow.WHAT YOU’LL LEARNHow embryo adoption works and what the process actually looks likeThe emotional reality of infertility and unexplained diagnosisWhat happens during a frozen embryo transfer (FET)Navigating open, semi-open, and anonymous embryo donationHow to talk to kids about embryo adoption and genetic identityThe grief of failed transfers and finding hope againHow Abbey ultimately built her family through both embryo and infant adoptionJoin the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/freeSubscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

In this episode, we explore the reality of international adoption through the powerful story of Jodi Slein’s journey to adopt her son from Romania. Host Anna Bernacki sits down with Jodi, a parent coach and adoptive mom, to talk about the moment she first learned about Romania’s orphanage crisis, what it was like to walk inside an institution where infants had stopped crying, and how she navigated the complex process of adopting a child internationally in the 1990s. Jodi opens up about the early signs of trauma, sensory challenges, and attachment needs that emerged after bringing her son home—and how adolescence brought even deeper layers of grief, identity, and healing. She also discusses the long-term impact of institutional care, the closure of Romania’s international adoption program, and what happened to children who were never adopted. What You’ll Learn: • The truth about international adoption in the 90s • Conditions inside Romanian orphanages • Early trauma and sensory needs in adopted children • How attachment forms after institutional care • Challenges during school years and adolescence • Reunion with birth family and its emotional impact • Why Romania closed international adoption and what came next If you want to understand the real, unfiltered story behind international adoption and the resilience of children who survive early neglect, this episode is essential viewing. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free Subscribe for more episodes on adoption, trauma, identity, and parenting with truth and care.

In this powerful and personal episode, host Anna Bernacki sits down with her adopted brother Jon DeWitt for their first-ever honest conversation about what it was like growing up adopted in the same home. Together, they revisit childhood memories, talk about attachment and belonging, and reflect on how adoption shaped their identities in different ways. With honesty, humor, and deep empathy, they explore what it means to find connection, heal family patterns, and become the kind of adults and siblings they needed as kids. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free

In this episode of the Parenting Different Podcast, host Anna Bernacki speaks with Devon Anasiewicz, whose journey through foster care and adoption began with one unexpected phone call. Devon opens up about loving through uncertainty, grieving the children who leave, and holding space for both the beauty and the heartbreak that adoption brings. Her story is a powerful reminder that love in adoption isn’t about perfection; it’s about choosing to stay when it hurts. Join the Parenting Different newsletter here: https://www.parentingdifferent.com/free