Accidental Mayan Blood Sacrifice ft. Bilal Zafar

About this episode

Comedian Bilal Zafar navigates the challenges of warning a Maya king about an impending solar eclipse while avoiding becoming a human sacrifice.

Tikal, 741 CE. One of the most powerful Maya city-states at the height of the Late Classic period. Towering pyramids, elaborate blood rituals, and a head priest who has the king's ear and absolutely no interest in hearing about an upcoming solar eclipse from some random time traveller. Comedian Bilal Zafar has three days to navigate this. His toolkit: creativity, self-declared ruthlessness, and roundhouse kicks. Bilal's mission is to warn the king about an imminent solar eclipse that the head priest has flatly denied will happen. Contradicting the priest means being accused of spreading fear and false prophecy, which in Maya culture is a fast track to becoming a human sacrifice. Bilal's response to learning the priest will have him killed: "Look, are you with me or against me? Because I can be very violent." His negotiation strategy involves clothing swaps with ceremonial priests and the kind of diplomacy that makes everyone present wonder if he's been at the suppositories. The roundhouse kicks remain untested. The Maya Late Classic period was an era of extraordinary scientific achievement. They tracked celestial events with accuracy that wouldn't be matched in Europe for…

People in this episode

Host: PastMaster

Guest: Bilal Zafar

Topics covered

• Maya civilization
• blood sacrifice
• solar eclipse
• comedy
• history

Keywords

• Maya
• blood rituals
• solar eclipse
• comedy
• history
• Tikal
• Bilal Zafar

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: Maya Late Classic period

Places: Tikal

More episodes of PastMaster: Reshaping History

• Step aside Pokémon, it's Tulip Mania Time! ft Sally Anne Fellows · June 9, 2026 · 52 min
• Founding a Welsh Heaven in South America, ft. Sunil Patel · May 28, 2026 · 1h 17m
• The Singing Grave Diggers of The Black Death, ft The McPherson Twins · May 13, 2026 · 1h 22m
• Crashing the Greatest Party in History: PastMaster 3rd Birthday Special · April 27, 2026 · 1h 25m
• A Vegetarian with Bad Knees vs. Vlad the Impaler, ft. Rohan Sharma · April 13, 2026 · 1h 2m
• Crouching Tiger, Hidden Cricket: Qin Dynasty China ft. Caroline McEvoy · March 30, 2026 · 1h 1m