How to conquer Greenland ft. Ashley Haden

About this episode

Ashley Haden navigates Viking justice in Greenland while facing accusations of sheep theft.

Greenland, 986 CE. Erik the Red has just established the first Norse settlement at Brattahlid, and comedian Ashley Haden has been living among the colonists for three months. The problem? A prominent farmer named Thorvald has accused him of stealing two sheep he never touched, and a public assembly called the Thing is happening at dawn. If found guilty, he owes compensation he can't pay, which means outlawry in the middle of a Greenlandic winter. Ashley's approach to Viking justice: invoke Odin, challenge his accuser to trial by combat, and open with a string of sheep-related insults so offensive that even the Game Master pauses. His knowledge of Norse mythology is suspiciously detailed, his combat instincts are disturbingly practical, and his long-term strategy involves hunting dedications to Freyja, political alliances with Erik the Red, and a patience for revenge that the AI clearly wasn't expecting. The real Norse settlement of Greenland was a branding exercise. Erik the Red named it "Greenland" to attract settlers to a frozen island where winter darkness lasted twenty hours a day, farming was barely viable, and disputes were settled by public assembly under open sky…

People in this episode

Host: PastMaster

Guest: Ashley Haden

Topics covered

• Viking justice
• Norse mythology
• colonization
• survival
• comedy
• historical fiction

Keywords

• Greenland
• Viking
• Erik the Red
• Norse
• justice
• comedy
• sheep
• trial by combat
• historical

Mentioned in this episode

Books & works: Norse mythology

Places: Greenland

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