
Put Away Your Penis & Strap-On!
From Sex, Here & Now by sexhereandnow
May 26, 2026 · 8 min · Episode 48
About this episode
This episode encourages vulva owners to explore pleasure beyond penetration, focusing on clitoral stimulation and connection.
Today’s episode is for my vulva owners, and honestly, for anyone who wants to rethink how we approach pleasure. We are stepping away from penetration and shifting the focus to something that often gets overlooked, fingers and tongues. Not because penetration is bad or off limits, but because so much of our cultural understanding of sex has been built around it being the “main event.” In this episode, we break that idea down. We talk about why penetration is not the primary pathway to orgasm for many vulva owners, what the research actually says about clitoral stimulation, and how slowing things down can completely change your sexual experience. This is about moving away from performance and into curiosity, connection, and sensation. We also get into how shame, expectations, and relationship dynamics shape how we define “good sex,” and why expanding your definition can lead to more pleasure and intimacy. And yes, there is some practical homework in here too. If you are looking to feel more connected to your body or your partner, this episode will give you a different lens to explore from. Resources If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the…
People in this episode
Host: sexhereandnow
Topics covered
- pleasure
- vulva owners
- clitoral stimulation
- orgasm
- intimacy
- sexual experience
- performance
Keywords
- pleasure
- vulva
- orgasm
- clitoral stimulation
- intimacy
- sexual experience
- performance
- Überlube
Sponsors
Überlube
Mentioned in this episode
Products: Überlube
More episodes of Sex, Here & Now
- Nothing in Sex is Natural or Organic · June 9, 2026 · 7 min
- Matt's Musings: Stop Competing Against Your Partner's Exes! · June 5, 2026 · 5 min
- Why You Aren't Getting What You Want In The Bedroom · June 2, 2026 · 8 min
- Matt's Musings: Please, Let Them Reject You! · May 22, 2026 · 6 min
- Expert on Expert: Victoria Byler Helping Men Relearn Masculinity · May 19, 2026 · 35 min
- Matt's Musings: Your Friends Don't Know What's Best For You · May 15, 2026 · 5 min
Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the Sex, Here & Now podcast page.