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On the show
From 18 epsHosts
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Recent episodes
Matt's Musings: Stop Caring About What Others Do In Their Bedrooms!
Jun 23, 2026
6m 31s
Your Parents Love Story (or lack there of) is Not Yours To Carry
Jun 16, 2026
6m 24s
Nothing in Sex is Natural or Organic
Jun 9, 2026
6m 55s
Matt's Musings: Stop Competing Against Your Partner's Exes!
Jun 5, 2026
4m 56s
Why You Aren't Getting What You Want In The Bedroom
Jun 2, 2026
7m 55s
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| Date | Episode | Topics | Guests | Brands | Places | Keywords | Sponsor | Length | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6/23/26 | ![]() Matt's Musings: Stop Caring About What Others Do In Their Bedrooms! | Why do people spend so much time worrying about everyone else's sex life? In this episode of Sex Here and Now, I explore something that has been on my mind lately: the tendency people have to judge other people's consensual sexual choices while avoiding deeper questions about their own relationship with sex. Whether the topic is kink, polyamory, queer relationships, casual sex, body confidence, or simply people expressing themselves authentically, judgment often shows up faster than curiosity. Together, we unpack where that judgment comes from. Is it really about the behavior itself? Or is it more about fear, shame, insecurity, confusion, or unresolved beliefs that get activated when we see someone living differently than we do? Often, what we criticize in others has far more to do with our own discomfort than their actual choices. We discuss the concept of "don't yuck someone else's yum" and why consensual sexual experiences between adults are rarely the problem people think they are. We also explore how religion, family systems, social media, culture, and sex negative messaging shape our reactions to sexuality and influence what we perceive as acceptable, normal, or threatening. In this episode, we discuss:• Why people judge other people's sex lives• Fear, shame, and sexual discomfort• Projection and sexual criticism• Kink, polyamory, and queer relationships• The impact of sex negative messaging• Curiosity versus judgment• Exploring your own relationship with sexuality• The role of self-awareness in sexual growth• Why consensual sexuality often triggers strong reactions• The difference between "that's not for me" and "that's wrong" One of the most important takeaways from this conversation is that curiosity often creates more growth than criticism. The next time you find yourself judging someone else's sexuality, it may be worth asking what that reaction is trying to tell you about your own experiences, beliefs, fears, or desires. If this episode resonates with you, consider following the podcast, leaving a review, and sharing it with someone who may benefit from the conversation. Your support helps spread more sex positive, shame reducing, and research informed conversations into the world. As always, stay curious. Resources If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered. 👉 Click here to try Überlube When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only). Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast! | 6m 31s | ||||||
| 6/16/26 | ![]() Your Parents Love Story (or lack there of) is Not Yours To Carry | Have you ever stopped to wonder how much of your relationship was shaped by the relationships you witnessed growing up? In this episode of Sex Here and Now, we are talking about parents, caregivers, family dynamics, and the relationship scripts many of us unknowingly carry into adulthood. Whether your parents had a seemingly perfect love story, a marriage filled with conflict, or something in between, chances are they influenced how you think about intimacy, communication, affection, conflict, trust, and commitment. I share a little bit about my own parents' relationship, including their surprisingly Hallmark-worthy origin story, and discuss one of the most important realizations many adults eventually face: our parents' relationships belong to them. Their strengths, struggles, communication patterns, emotional blind spots, and beliefs about love are not automatically meant to become our own. Together, we explore how family systems shape our nervous systems, why some people spend their lives recreating the relationships they witnessed growing up, and why others spend years trying to escape them. We also discuss how social media often romanticizes long-term relationships while ignoring a much more important question: were those relationships actually healthy? In this episode, we discuss:• Relationship blueprints learned in childhood• Family systems and attachment patterns• Emotional safety and nervous system responses• Why intimacy can feel difficult as adults• Repeating versus rejecting family relationship patterns• The difference between longevity and relationship quality• Social media and romanticized love stories• Building relationships that align with your values• Healing inherited relationship scripts• Creating healthier forms of intimacy and connection One of the most freeing parts of adulthood is realizing that awareness creates choice. You do not have to recreate your parents' relationship, and you do not have to spend your life running from it either. You get to decide what kind of relationship reflects who you are today. If this episode resonates with you, consider following the podcast, leaving a review, and sharing it with someone who may benefit from the conversation. Your support helps spread more sex positive, relationship focused, and shame reducing conversations into the world. Resources If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered. 👉 Click here to try Überlube When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only). Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast! | 6m 24s | ||||||
| 6/9/26 | ![]() Nothing in Sex is Natural or Organic✨ | natural sexsexual beliefs+4 | — | — | — | natural sexsexual orientation+5 | — | 6m 55s | |
| 6/5/26 | ![]() Matt's Musings: Stop Competing Against Your Partner's Exes!✨ | comparisonrelationships+3 | — | — | — | partner's excomparison spiral+3 | — | 4m 56s | |
| 6/2/26 | ![]() Why You Aren't Getting What You Want In The Bedroom✨ | communicationsexuality+3 | — | — | — | asking for what you wantsexual communication+3 | — | 7m 55s | |
| 5/26/26 | ![]() Put Away Your Penis & Strap-On!✨ | pleasurevulva owners+5 | — | — | — | pleasurevulva+6 | ÜberlubeFree Sachet | 7m 40s | |
| 5/22/26 | ![]() Matt's Musings: Please, Let Them Reject You!✨ | rejectionself-worth+3 | — | sex therapy continuing education | — | rejectionself-worth+5 | Überlubepodcast10 | 5m 31s | |
| 5/19/26 | ![]() Expert on Expert: Victoria Byler Helping Men Relearn Masculinity✨ | masculinityemotional connection+4 | Victoria Byler | Revive Counseling | — | masculinityemotional health+5 | sex therapy continuing educationpodcast10 | 35m 00s | |
| 5/15/26 | ![]() Matt's Musings: Your Friends Don't Know What's Best For You✨ | sex advicerelationships+4 | — | — | — | sex advicerelationships+5 | ÜberlubeFree Sachet | 4m 46s | |
| 5/12/26 | ![]() When Sex Feels Out of Control✨ | sex addictionsexuality+5 | — | — | — | sex addictionporn+7 | ÜberlubeFree Sachet | 6m 44s | |
Want analysis for the episodes below?Free for Pro Submit a request, we'll have your selected episodes analyzed within an hour. Free, at no cost to you, for Pro users. | |||||||||
| 5/5/26 | ![]() Listener Questions: Why Do Men Suck?✨ | listener questionssex therapy+4 | — | AASECT | — | sex therapymen+5 | Überlube | 9m 09s | |
| 5/1/26 | ![]() Matt's Musings: Just Get Pegged Already!✨ | peggingsexual curiosity+3 | — | — | — | peggingsexuality+3 | Überlubepodcast10 | 7m 20s | |
| 4/28/26 | ![]() The One Activity All Couples Need To Do✨ | sexualitycommunication+4 | — | Sex, Here & Now | — | Yes No Maybe listsexual interests+5 | sex therapy continuing educationpodcast | 13m 49s | |
| 4/21/26 | ![]() Expert on Expert: Julie Labanz Breaks Down The Harm of Purity Culture✨ | purity culturedesire discrepancy+3 | Julie Labanz | beknowntherapy | — | purity culturedesire discrepancy+3 | — | 39m 13s | |
| 4/17/26 | ![]() Matt's Musings: Never Stop Dating Each Other✨ | relationshipsdating+3 | — | — | — | relationshipsdating+6 | Cleveland Sex Therapypodcast10 | 3m 55s | |
| 4/14/26 | ![]() What To Do When Your Sex Life Falls Apart?✨ | sex lifeintimacy+4 | — | — | — | sexintimacy+6 | sex therapy continuing educationpodcast10 | 12m 41s | |
| 4/10/26 | ![]() Matts Musings: You Probably Need Couples Counseling✨ | couples counselingrelationship investment+3 | — | — | — | couples counselingrelationship therapy+3 | Cleveland Sex Therapypodcast10 | 5m 12s | |
| 4/7/26 | ![]() We Love Each Other, But We Don’t Have Sex.✨ | sexual intimacycouples therapy+4 | — | — | — | sexualitycouples+5 | sex therapy continuing educationpodcast10 | 11m 23s | |
| 4/3/26 | ![]() Matt's Musings: Making Sex Fun Again!✨ | sex positivityperformance anxiety+3 | — | — | — | sexfun+5 | sex therapy continuing educationpodcast10 | 5m 53s | |
| 3/31/26 | ![]() Expert on Expert: Kristen Lilla Spills on The Importance of Sex Education✨ | sex educationanatomical terms+4 | Kristen Lilla | Vaginas and Periods 101Penises 101+1 | — | sex educationAASECT+6 | sex therapy continuing educationpodcast10 | 33m 51s | |
| 3/27/26 | ![]() Matt's Musings: Bisexuality is on the Rise! | In this mini episode of Matt’s Musings, I’m diving into a topic that continues to spark curiosity, confusion, and meaningful cultural change: the rise in people identifying as bisexual. Recent research suggests that about 7 percent of people now identify as bisexual, and rather than asking why it is increasing, this episode explores a more important question. What happens when people finally feel safe enough to tell the truth about who they are? I talk about the history of bisexuality being misunderstood or dismissed as a phase, the unique pressures bisexual individuals have faced from both heterosexual and queer communities, and why this shift reflects something much bigger than a trend. It signals growing safety, expanding conversations around sexual fluidity, and younger generations feeling less pressure to fit into rigid identity boxes. This episode is a reminder that sexuality has always been more expansive than many of us were taught. As stigma softens and acceptance grows, more people are allowing themselves curiosity, self understanding, and authenticity without shame. If you have ever questioned labels, wondered about sexual fluidity, or simply want to better understand the evolving landscape of human sexuality, this short musing invites you to stay curious and compassionate toward yourself and others. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast! | 4m 32s | ||||||
| 3/24/26 | ![]() I Am Writing My Own Sex Vows for My Wedding and So Should You! | In this personal and reflective episode of Sex, Here & Now, I share something a little different. I am getting married this July to my partner of nine years, and as we started writing our own wedding vows, it got me thinking about something we almost never talk about in relationships or marriage: sex vows. After nearly a decade together filled with growth, therapy, travel, and redefining what partnership looks like, I found myself asking why traditional vows celebrate love, commitment, and stability, yet rarely acknowledge sexuality as part of the relationship we are promising to nurture. As an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, I see every day how couples assume intimacy will take care of itself, only to realize later that erotic connection also needs intention, care, and ongoing conversation. In this episode, I explore the idea of “sex vows” and why treating sexuality as a shared value rather than an obligation can transform long term relationships. I talk about how intimacy evolves over time, why curiosity matters more than performance, and how couples can intentionally protect their erotic connection from resentment, silence, and disconnection. Whether you are getting married, partnered long term, dating, or intentionally single, this episode invites you to reflect on how you want to show up sexually in your relationships and how intentional conversations about desire can deepen connection far beyond the bedroom. I also share examples of sex vows my partner and I have explored together to help you start creating your own. Because intimacy is not something you promise once. It is something you choose again and again. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast! | 7m 35s | ||||||
| 3/20/26 | ![]() Matt's Musings: Americans Want Open Relationships | A new study suggests that more than a quarter of Americans are interested in open relationships and honestly, my jaw hit the floor. Not because non monogamy is better than monogamy, but because it tells us something much bigger about where relationships are headed. In this episode, I explore what this growing interest in non monogamous relationships actually means for modern dating, intimacy, and personal identity. We talk about why relationship styles are not in competition with each other, how insecurity often fuels unnecessary debates between monogamy and non monogamy, and why there is room for everyone to build relationships that genuinely fit their lives. I also dive into how cultural shifts are changing the way we think about love. From the loosening grip of purity culture to increasing relational curiosity, more people are questioning inherited relationship scripts and asking a powerful question: What do I actually want? This episode is not about convincing anyone to open their relationship. It is about intentionality, self awareness, and choosing connection from authenticity rather than obligation. Whether you practice monogamy, non monogamy, or are simply curious, this conversation invites you to rethink how we define healthy relationships in a modern world. Cheers to building connections that are ethical, consensual, and truly aligned with who we are. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast! | 4m 37s | ||||||
| 3/17/26 | ![]() I Feel Sexually Neglected By My Partner. Help! | What does it really mean when someone says, “I feel sexually neglected”? In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, I explore a topic that comes up often in my therapy office and in many long term relationships. Sexual neglect is rarely just about sex. More often, it is about feeling unwanted, unseen, or no longer chosen by the person you love. We unpack why feelings of neglect show up in relationships, how stress and emotional overload impact desire, and why differences in attachment styles can create painful pursue and withdraw cycles between partners. Drawing from research on attachment theory, Emily Nagoski’s work on context dependent desire, and real clinical experience, this episode helps normalize what many couples quietly struggle with. I also introduce the concept of emotional anorexia, how emotional disconnection can slowly impact erotic connection, and why many partners unintentionally hurt each other without realizing it. You will learn how to approach conversations about sexual disconnection with curiosity instead of blame, understand what sex emotionally represents for each partner, and begin rebuilding connection through vulnerability and intentional turning toward one another. If you have ever felt unwanted in your relationship or struggled to understand why intimacy has changed, this episode offers compassion, insight, and practical ways forward. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast! | 10m 30s | ||||||
| 3/13/26 | ![]() Matt's Musings: We Have to Talk about Soulmates | Welcome to my series of mini-episodes that I call Matt’s Musings. These episodes will be short, focused, and center on tips and tricks relating to human sexuality that I think are important for all of us to know and understand. And hey, you now get to hear me more often? What a treat! Today, I am roasting the idea of soulmates and making it more open to our growth as humans. New full-length episodes dropping every week! “Matt’s Musings” episodes dropping every other week! Looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast! | 4m 18s | ||||||
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