We Need To Stop Performing Love And Desire

We Need To Stop Performing Love And Desire

From Sextras by Sextras

March 10, 2026 · 1h 22m · Season 4 · Episode 5

About this episode

The episode discusses how societal pressures lead to performing love and desire for an imaginary audience.

Want to win a free sex toy? All you have to do is follow us on Instagram and leave a review of the podcast wherever you're listening or become a paid subscriber to our Substack . For just £6 a month you'll get access to: extended podcast episodes, bonus episodes, exclusive features and essays, biweekly newsletters, and a community chat. Send us a screenshot of your submission to sextraspodcast@gmail.com or our Instagram DMs. Submissions close 31 March. Must be based in EU or UK to enter. A carefully curated post-break-up Instagram profile. A £3.5k wedding videographer. Shit-talking your ex on TikTok. We're obsessed with appearances and (guess what?!) it's impacting our relationships. In the first episode of the series , Honey was joined by relationships editor Daniella Parete Clarke to talk about how we're all policing each others' behaviour. This week Dani comes on the pod again to talk about the flip-side of that: how we're all performing for an imaginary audience. We start the episode by looking at Guy Debord's theory of the spectacle, and how it's showing up in politics, the workplace, our obsession with looksmaxxing, and our sex and relationships lives. We unpack why we…

People in this episode

Host: Honey

Guest: Daniella Parete Clarke

Topics covered

  • performing love
  • relationships
  • social media
  • vulnerability
  • appearance
  • policing behavior

Keywords

  • love
  • desire
  • relationships
  • social media
  • vulnerability
  • Guy Debord
  • spectacle
  • appearance

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Instagram, TikTok, Substack

Books & works: Guy Debord's theory of the spectacle

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