Do You Make People Feel Safe?

About this episode

Candace and Jason discuss the two communication types, Harbor and Spark, and their impact on relationships and emotional safety.

Have you ever been around someone who made you feel like your feelings actually mattered? Or tried for months to get through to someone you love, only to catch one brief moment where they let you in? That is exactly what this episode is about. Candace and Jason VanRuler are back to continue the PATHS series, and this week they go deep on the two communication types that might be the most misunderstood: Harbor and Spark. Jason opens up about being a Harbor himself — the feeler of the group, the one who makes space for everyone else's emotions and often forgets to need that space too. He shares the story of a therapist on a bus who had spent a career being a Harbor for others and had never once had one for herself. The loneliness in that is real, and so is the beauty of what a Harbor offers when it's healthy. They also talk about the wound that often shapes a Harbor: being a kid whose feelings just didn't get to matter. Then there's the Spark — the one who lights up a room, gets every conversation going, and sometimes vanishes the moment things get heavy. Candace and Jason talk about what it actually takes to reach a Spark in a real relationship, and Candace shares what her husband…

People in this episode

Host: Candace Cameron Bure

Guest: Jason VanRuler

Topics covered

• communication
• emotional safety
• Harbor
• Spark
• relationships
• parenting

Keywords

• communication types
• Harbor
• Spark
• emotional safety
• relationships
• parenting advice

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