About this episode

This episode features a conversation about kink, BDSM, and the challenges of communicating sexual desires.

I was invited onto the podcast Couples Therapy in 7 Words with Dr. Bruce Chalmer and Judy Alexander, two proudly vanilla people who sat down with me to ask the exact questions so many people secretly have about kink, BDSM, fetishes, sexual shame, and desire. I loved this conversation so much that I immediately asked if I could re-share it here for all of you. In this episode, we talk about what kink actually is, some misconceptions about BDSM, and the difference between a kink and a fetish. I also talk about why so many people struggle to communicate their sexual desires, and how shame keeps people trapped in silence for years. We dive into consensual non-consent, primal play, cross-dressing, fetish exploration, relationship compatibility, dom/sub dynamics, masculinity, vulnerability, and why kinky people often become better communicators than many vanilla couples. This conversation goes far beyond sex and becomes a grounded discussion about BDSM relationships, emotional honesty, and healthy communication in intimate relationships. If you’ve ever felt confused about kink, curious about BDSM, or simply wanted a more compassionate and realistic conversation about kink education…

People in this episode

Host: Amanda Dames

Guests: Dr. Bruce Chalmer, Judy Alexander

Topics covered

• kink
• BDSM
• fetishes
• sexual shame
• communication
• relationship compatibility
• emotional honesty

Keywords

• kink education
• BDSM misconceptions
• sexual desires
• consensual non-consent
• dom/sub dynamics
• fetish exploration
• healthy communication

Sponsors

Swinkation

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Couples Therapy in 7 Words, Hedonism II, Swinkation, YouTube

More episodes of The Kink Consultant

• How to Be Kinky as a Parent: Raising A Child Without Losing Your Dynamic with Athena Gale · June 4, 2026 · 1h 2m
• How to Bring Up Kink Without Sounding Creepy with Connell Barrett · May 21, 2026 · 48 min
• Dating Advice for Men & Women: Flirting, Confidence and Attraction with Connell Barrett · May 14, 2026 · 59 min

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