How to Stop Dysregulaton Before it Stops You – EJ and Tarah Kerwin
About this episode
The episode discusses dysregulation in relationships and how to recognize and manage it effectively.
You weren't trying to blow it up. You weren't trying to say the thing that sent everything sideways. And yet — there you were, reactive and regretful, wondering how you got there so fast. That's dysregulation. And it is not a character flaw. It's not weakness. It's your nervous system doing exactly what it was wired to do — except it can't tell the difference between a threat in the wild and a look from your spouse across the kitchen. On this episode of the Save the Marriage Podcast, I sat down with EJ and Tara Kerwin, founders of Relationship Renovation, hosts of the Relationship Renovation Podcast, and a couple who — despite being trained therapists — found themselves in the thick of their own marriage crisis. They know this territory from the inside out. Here's what struck me most in our conversation: dysregulation doesn't always look like losing your temper. Sometimes it looks perfectly calm. Controlled. Logical, even. EJ describes how he would shut down internally — fully convinced he was being reasonable — while Tara's system was spinning. Two very different presentations of the same problem. And neither of them could see it clearly in the moment. That matters for you —…
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