This Is How You “Diss” Your Marriage

This Is How You “Diss” Your Marriage

From The Save The Marriage Podcast by Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

March 25, 2026 · 19 min · Episode 595

About this episode

The episode discusses the subtle stages of disconnection in marriages and how couples often overlook their own contributions to the deterioration of their relationship.

Most people assume a marriage falls apart because something went wrong. A betrayal. A blow-up. A moment where everything changed. But that's rarely how it actually happens. What I've watched — in couple after couple over 25 years — is something much quieter. Much slower. And in a lot of ways, much harder to reverse, because it's almost impossible to see while it's happening. There's a path. A progression. A series of stages that couples move through — not because they want to, not because they're bad people, but because disconnection follows a predictable direction once it gets started. And here's what makes it especially difficult: at each stage, what you notice most is what your spouse is doing. The distance they're creating. The disinterest they're showing. The disrespect coming out in their words. What's harder to see — much harder — is your own place in it. Last week I talked about momentum, and how the pause button sets a relationship moving in a direction most couples don't notice until they're deep into it. This week, I want to talk about where that direction actually leads. Because there are stages. And most people, when they hear them described, can tell you exactly…

People in this episode

Host: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Topics covered

  • marriage
  • disconnection
  • relationship stages
  • communication
  • emotional distance

Keywords

  • marriage
  • disconnection
  • relationship
  • communication
  • emotional distance
  • stages of marriage
  • couples therapy

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