About this episode

In the season finale, Rachel and Mike demonstrate how slowing down their reactions transformed a potential conflict into an opportunity for connection using the TEMPO framework.

Today is our season three finale . It has been an absolute privilege watching Rachel and Mike untangle their negative cycles, and they open today's session with the ultimate proof that the work is paying off . When a major trigger hit just two nights ago, the script flipped entirely . Instead of his typical silent shutdown and her sharp tongue, Mike paused and shared the vulnerable feelings he was processing, allowing Rachel to meet him with compassion instead of anger . By slowing down, they turned what would have historically been a catastrophic fight into an opportunity to bond . In this finale, we walk through the TEMPO framework (Trigger, Emotion, Meaning, Protection, Organization) that helped them get here . Mike also opens up about the paralyzing "doom and gloom" fear he carries when they go into a state of disconnection . Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship. For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast Sign up for Julie's Attachment Theory 101 Course: Attachment Theory 101: From Mystery to Mastery Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime.

People in this episode

Host: Julie Menanno

Guests: Rachel, Mike

Topics covered

• co-regulation
• relationship dynamics
• emotional vulnerability
• conflict resolution
• TEMPO framework

Keywords

• co-regulation
• relationship
• TEMPO framework
• emotional processing
• conflict resolution

More episodes of The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

• S3 | Session 17: Fear of the Goodness: Navigating Peace After Relationship Chaos · June 23, 2026 · 1h 27m
• S3 | Session 16: Too Sensitive? Healing the Belief That You Are Defective · June 16, 2026 · 51 min
• S3 | Session 15: Two People Overboard: The Co-Regulation Conundrum · June 9, 2026 · 47 min
• S3 | Session 14: The Burden of the Poker Face: How Hiding Stress Hurts Your Marriage · May 26, 2026 · 1h 25m
• S3 | Session 13: Always Second Place: Fighting to Be Your Partner's Priority · May 19, 2026 · 1h 15m
• S3 | Session 12: Between a Rock and a Hard Place: The Cost of "Going With the Flow" · May 12, 2026 · 1h 7m

Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno podcast page.