
177: Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
From Unstuck with Jay Abbasi by Jay Abbasi
June 12, 2026 · 13 min · Season 1 · Episode 177
About this episode
Jay Abbasi discusses the impact of self-talk on performance and well-being, emphasizing self-observation over self-criticism.
The way you talk to yourself may be the very thing holding you back. In this solo episode, Jay explores the difference between self-criticism, self-observation, and flow states, and why understanding these distinctions can dramatically improve your performance, resilience, and well-being. Drawing from the teachings of Anthony de Mello, Viktor Frankl, and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Jay explains why harsh self-judgment creates unnecessary psychological suffering and how a practice of self-observation can help you become more self-aware without becoming self-critical. He also breaks down the role of flow states and when to observe yourself versus when to let go and fully immerse yourself in the moment. Notable Quotes “There is only one cause of unhappiness. The false beliefs you have in your head.” — Anthony de Mello “Self-criticism does not serve you.” — Jay Abbasi “Be that kind of coach for yourself that you would want if you were playing sports.” — Jay Abbasi “You need to be able to observe yourself without judgment.” — Jay Abbasi “Flow is being completely involved in an activity for its own sake.” — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Resources and Links Jay Abbasi Website…
People in this episode
Host: Jay Abbasi
Topics covered
- self-criticism
- self-observation
- flow states
- psychological well-being
- performance improvement
Keywords
- self-criticism
- self-observation
- flow states
- psychological suffering
- resilience
More episodes of Unstuck with Jay Abbasi
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- 175: Trust Is Granted · June 5, 2026 · 18 min
- 174: Your Job Is to Lead, Not to Be Liked · June 1, 2026 · 54 min
- 173: You Don’t Need More Discipline · May 29, 2026 · 12 min
- 172: The Warrior Mindset for Everyday People · May 25, 2026 · 55 min
- 171: Your Phone Is Draining Your Brain · May 22, 2026 · 11 min
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