About this episode

The episode addresses pre-wedding pressures, gender roles in the church, and the host's personal journey with grief after his father's suicide.

Questions answered this episode: I’m engaged and will be married in August 2026 . My fiancé and I both have sexual pasts, but we have waited and are continuing to wait to have sex for the first time in marriage. This has been very difficult. My fiancé has gotten frustrated with my response when he is trying to be playfully sexy. I don't want to venture too far down that path as it has gotten us too close to sex in the past . However, he fears that if I'm not open to being playful now, I won't be in marriage either. Truthfully, I don't think I understand what kind of playfulness is appropriate in marriage, and I'm starting to feel pressure to live up to some fantasy when we get married. I've been wrestling with one thing you said about gender and how only men can be priests. The context, from what I recall, was that only men can be priests because the priest is the groom, or is acting as Christ in the mass, who is the groom. That makes the congregation the bride. If women can't be priests because they are women, how can a man be a bride in the congregation? Five years ago, my dad committed suicide. The experience left me in shock , and I still feel that shock today. At the time, I…

People in this episode

Host: Christopher West

Topics covered

• pre-wedding challenges
• sexuality in marriage
• grief and loss
• gender roles in the church
• emotional healing

Keywords

• pre-wedding playfulness
• sexual pasts
• marriage
• gender and priesthood
• grief
• emotional access
• Theology of the Body

More episodes of Ask Christopher West

• Deep sea diving into your spouse's heart, Theology of a newborn's first cry, and Financial help for vasectomy reversal | ACW394 · July 20, 2026 · 46 min
• Finding a spiritual director without replacing your spouse, TOB & hunting, and Panic attack during the marital | ACW393 · July 13, 2026 · 51 min
• Spontaneous prayer with your boyfriend, The raw truth about fornication, and What to do when making love hurts. | ACW392 · July 6, 2026 · 59 min
• Were We Really Married That First Night?, My Boyfriend's Secret Lust Broke My Heart, and Should Boys Still Be Circumcised? | ACW391 · June 29, 2026 · 56 min
• Dark fantasies threaten marriage, Did Jesus have a body before birth?, and Vaginismus fears | ACW389 · June 15, 2026 · 1h 13m

Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the Ask Christopher West podcast page.