Ep 439 Sex as a Hobby, Not a Test You Have to Pass

Ep 439 Sex as a Hobby, Not a Test You Have to Pass

From Marriage Therapy Radio by MTR

August 25, 2026 · 39 min

About this episode

Zach and Heather discuss the purpose of sex in marriage and how it evolves over time.

Zach steps out of the host chair for this one. In a swap with Heather Shannon of Sex for Couples , Zach is the guest, and the conversation goes straight at a question most couples never ask out loud: what is sex actually for, and does that answer change over the life of a marriage? Zach, who's been married almost thirty years, and Heather dig into why frequency becomes the default target when quality and clarity would serve couples better. The conversation moves through the different eras a long marriage passes through, the anthropological reasons couples tend to hit a reset every few years, and the idea that any long marriage is really four or five different marriages stitched together. Zach shares specific, practical scenes from his own relationship, including a three hour float down a river with his wife where they talked about sex without ever touching, and describes a couple in his practice who solved their standoff by simply negotiating who gets what on which night. Heather brings in patterns she sees in her own client work, particularly the tendency to take sexual disconnection personally and the exhausting decision fatigue around initiating. Together they name two…

People in this episode

Guests: Zach, Heather Shannon

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Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Sex for Couples

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