About this episode

This episode explores the science of moving beyond small talk to foster deeper connections in conversations.

Most people say they want deeper relationships and more meaningful connection, yet many conversations stay stuck at the surface level. We talk about work, schedules, the weather, or whatever else feels safe. So why is it so hard to move beyond small talk? In this episode, we’re exploring the science of meaningful conversation, from curiosity and attention to vulnerability, flirting, and emotional openness. I am joined once again by Nicholas Epley, the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavior Science, and Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research, at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He is the author of Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want. His latest book is A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why do so many conversations stay surface-level? What kinds of questions foster closeness? How do we balance vulnerability with oversharing? Can people tell when they don’t fully have our attention? What small conversational shifts create deeper connection? You can visit…

People in this episode

Host: Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Guest: Nicholas Epley

Topics covered

• meaningful conversation
• small talk
• vulnerability
• emotional openness
• relationship building
• curiosity

Keywords

• small talk
• meaningful connection
• vulnerability
• conversation skills
• relationship advice

Sponsors

Sexual Health Alliance

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: University of Chicago Booth School of Business

Books & works: Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want, A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection

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• Episode 509: Out-Of-Control Sexual Behavior In Women · June 12, 2026 · 30 min
• Episode 508: When Your Sexuality Changes Later In Life · June 9, 2026 · 32 min
• Episode 507: Is Non-Monogamy Right For You? · June 5, 2026 · 30 min
• Episode 506: Trauma-Informed Non-Monogamy · June 2, 2026 · 31 min
• Episode 504: Why We Avoid Connection (Even When We Crave It) · May 26, 2026 · 34 min
• Episode 503: Why Sexual Communication Feels So Hard · May 22, 2026 · 30 min

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