Sex and Psychology Podcast

Historically, chastity was associated with suppressing sexual desire. Today, however, it often means something very different. For many people, it’s a way of exploring desire, anticipation, control, intimacy, and pleasure. In this episode, we’re diving into the psychology of chastity, including why people are drawn to it, who’s into it, and what it can teach us about human sexuality more broadly. My guest is Paul Botto, the COO of KINK3D. He’s been working in the queer and kink community in San Francisco for the past 10 years, joining KINK3D in 2021 as the company’s first hire. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does chastity mean in modern sexual culture? How has the meaning of chastity changed over time? What do people find psychologically appealing about chastity? Why can limiting pleasure intensify desire? Why are some people drawn to chastity outside of kink? You can check out the KINK3D blog here, as well as find them on Instagram, Twitter, Bluesky, and Reddit. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Check out Sex Ed with DB here to listen to an episode we love on your favorite podcast platform! Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people think that if you’re attracted to someone, arousal should just naturally happen. But it’s not that simple. In this episode, we explore the science of sexual arousal, the many pathways through which desire can emerge, and how stress, trauma, burnout, and major life experiences can reshape our relationship with pleasure. My guest is Kayna Cassard, a sex therapist, painful sex specialist, certified trauma therapist, and author of the book Arousal, Answered: An Expert’s Guide to Authentic Pleasure and Liberating Sex. Her mission is to help others liberate themselves from outdated sexual scripts and empower them to rewrite their authentic sexual narratives. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How can understanding the brain unlock more pleasure? Why is desire more complex than spontaneous vs. responsive? What role do stress, safety, and connection play in arousal? Why is it so hard to stay present during sex? How can becoming more embodied enhance desire? You can visit Kayna’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.