
Ask Me Anything – E48: Why Choosing Yourself Feels Like Losing Everyone (And What to Do When It Does)
From Untethering Shame by Kyira Wackett
May 13, 2026 · 9 min · Season 1 · Episode 48
About this episode
In this episode, Kyira Wackett addresses the challenges of prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries in relationships.
★ Join the Energy Audit: A free seven day email challenge starting May 24th to help you identify what is draining you and what is restoring you. https://adversityrising.com/the-energy-audit In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: "I finally started putting myself first. Boundaries, saying no, protecting my time. And instead of feeling better, I feel worse. My relationships are tense. People are pulling away or frustrated. Now I'm wondering if this whole taking care of myself thing is just selfish. How do I deal with the fallout of finally choosing myself?" We look at the concept of "Unspoken Contracts" and why setting healthy boundaries often leads to friction rather than immediate relief. This conversation examines how systems push back when you change your role and why choosing yourself is not the same as being selfish. Inside This Episode Disrupted Systems: Why things getting harder does not mean you are doing something wrong. Unspoken Contracts: The invisible agreements in your relationships and what happens when you stop honoring them. The Shame Spiral: How shame disguises itself as conscience to make you feel bad for growing…
People in this episode
Host: Kyira Wackett
Topics covered
- self-care
- boundaries
- relationships
- shame
- personal growth
Keywords
- self-care
- boundaries
- relationships
- shame
- personal growth
- unspoken contracts
- energy audit
Mentioned in this episode
Organizations: Adversity Rising
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- 🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E51: When Family Calls You Selfish for Choosing Yourself (And How to Hold Your Ground Without Losing Yourself) · June 3, 2026 · 10 min
- Shame & Attraction: Why Your Brain Falls for the Wrong People with Leah Mitchell · May 31, 2026 · 52 min
- 🎙️ Ask Me Anything – E50: Why You Keep Snapping (And What Your Reactions Are Actually Trying to Tell You) · May 27, 2026 · 9 min
- Shame, Power, and Desire: A Trauma-Informed Look at Dominance & Submission · May 24, 2026 · 49 min
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