409: Have you ever felt adrift as a man? (ft. Scott Kaltenbaugh and Djeli Celestia)

About this episode

The episode discusses the challenges modern men face regarding identity and purpose, emphasizing the importance of rites of passage.

Has it always been clear to you where you fit into the world? -- what your purpose is, what you contribute, what your "worth" or "value" is, as a man. If so, you're in the minority these days. A modern young man has no official initiation into adulthood -- no rite of passage. So he often ends up "adrift on a sea of shame," as story weaver and healthy masculinity educator Djeli Celestia, puts it. That line alone stopped me cold, because I've seen it so many times in the men I work with: They know what they don't want to be (i.e. like their dad), but no map for how to become who they do want to be. No elder handed them a compass. No ritual marked the threshold. And adrift youth frequently grow up into adrift adults — older, but still lost. So what's the solution? Here, healthy masculinity educators Scott and Djeli dig into what rites of passage actually are, why modern culture has nearly lost them, and what happens — to men, to relationships, to family systems — when they're missing. They also share about the beauty and possibility that opens up when we restore these relatively simple but powerful practices. For example, Djeli shares his own personal story of taking his own son…

People in this episode

Host: Melanie Curtin

Guests: Scott Kaltenbaugh, Djeli Celestia

Topics covered

• masculinity
• rites of passage
• identity
• relationships
• adulthood

Keywords

• masculinity
• adulthood
• identity
• rites of passage
• relationships

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