#245: Should Anxiously Attached People Just Avoid Avoidants?

About this episode

Stephanie Rigg discusses the complexities of attachment styles in relationships, particularly the advice for anxiously attached individuals regarding avoidant partners.

In today’s episode, I’m unpacking why I don’t give the common advice for anxiously attached people to simply avoid avoidant partners. While it might seem like a straightforward way to protect yourself from painful relationship dynamics, this approach is often overly simplistic — and can actually reinforce the very patterns you’re trying to move away from. We explore the nuance that often gets lost in attachment conversations, including why not all avoidant individuals are the same, and how reducing people to labels can limit your capacity to form meaningful, healthy connections. I also share a more grounded and empowering approach to dating — one that centres discernment, self-trust, and clarity around what you truly want and need in a relationship. Explore my website + free resources here .

People in this episode

Host: Stephanie Rigg

Topics covered

• attachment styles
• relationships
• anxious attachment
• avoidant attachment
• dating advice
• self-trust

Keywords

• anxious attachment
• avoidant attachment
• relationship dynamics
• dating
• self-trust
• attachment theory
• healthy connections

More episodes of On Attachment

• #264: The One Thing You Should Never Do in Relationships (from Substack) · June 11, 2026 · 8 min
• #263: How to Stop Obsessing About Someone · June 9, 2026 · 18 min
• #262: How to Navigate Feeling Behind in Life (Ask Steph) · June 4, 2026 · 10 min
• #261: Sex, Intimacy, and Attachment Styles · June 2, 2026 · 21 min
• #260: Can You Become Anxiously Attached from Dating an Avoidant Person? (Ask Steph) · May 28, 2026 · 10 min
• #259: How to Communicate with a Defensive Partner · May 26, 2026 · 18 min