#247: Is It Your Anxious Attachment... or the Wrong Relationship?
From On Attachment by Stephanie Rigg
April 7, 2026 · 15 min · Season 1 · Episode 247
About this episode
The episode explores the confusion between personal insecurities and genuine relationship issues for those with anxious attachment.
In today’s episode, we’re unpacking one of the most common (and confusing) questions for people with anxious attachment: is it me, or is there something genuinely not right in this relationship? When you’re used to second-guessing yourself, it can be incredibly hard to know whether your fears and insecurities are coming from your own patterns—or from dynamics that would leave anyone feeling unsafe or unsettled. In this episode, I explore why this question is so difficult to answer, the role of self-doubt and emotional invalidation, and how to find a more grounded, balanced perspective. I also share some clear examples of behaviours that are likely to create insecurity in any relationship, regardless of your attachment style. We cover: Why “is it me or them?” is such a common source of rumination The role of self-doubt and self-invalidation in anxious attachment The middle ground between dismissing your feelings and being led by them Why relationship dynamics are almost always co-created Examples of behaviours that are objectively difficult to build a secure relationship around How inconsistency and unpredictability activate anxious attachment patterns The importance of zooming…
People in this episode
Host: Stephanie Rigg
Topics covered
- anxious attachment
- relationship dynamics
- self-doubt
- emotional invalidation
- relationship insecurity
- self-awareness
Keywords
- anxious attachment
- relationship insecurity
- self-doubt
- emotional invalidation
- relationship dynamics
- self-awareness
- rumination
More episodes of On Attachment
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- #263: How to Stop Obsessing About Someone · June 9, 2026 · 18 min
- #262: How to Navigate Feeling Behind in Life (Ask Steph) · June 4, 2026 · 10 min
- #261: Sex, Intimacy, and Attachment Styles · June 2, 2026 · 21 min
- #260: Can You Become Anxiously Attached from Dating an Avoidant Person? (Ask Steph) · May 28, 2026 · 10 min
- #259: How to Communicate with a Defensive Partner · May 26, 2026 · 18 min
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