If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count

If I Have To Ask, It Doesn't Count

From Relationship Advice by Thrive Therapy - Colter Bloxom, Lauren Mokarry, and Cayla Bozovich

February 28, 2026 · 54 min

About this episode

The episode explores the disappointment of asking for what you want and the mindset that leads to silent resentment.

Why does it feel so disappointing to ask for what you want? In this episode, we unpack the hidden belief that “if I have to ask, it doesn’t count” — and how that mindset turns simple needs (compliments, celebration, affection) into silent resentment. We explore the shame, fear of failure, childhood triggers, and meaning-making underneath it all — and how shifting from mind-reading to curiosity can completely change the dynamic. Main Talking Points: • Mind-reading myth • Meaning-making traps • Shame & fear • Childhood wounds • Process > content Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast…

People in this episode

Hosts: Colter Bloxom, Lauren Mokarry, Cayla Bozovich

Topics covered

  • asking for needs
  • mind-reading
  • shame
  • childhood triggers
  • curiosity
  • resentment

Keywords

  • asking
  • needs
  • resentment
  • mind-reading
  • shame
  • curiosity
  • childhood

Sponsors

Cozy Earth, Beducate, AG1, Simple Practice, Spark My Relationship Course, Skylight

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Relationship Academy

Products: Cozy Earth, Beducate, AG1, Simple Practice, Spark My Relationship Course, Skylight

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