390. “But It Felt So Real”: Why Red Flags Don’t Look Like Red Flags
About this episode
Dr. Abby Medcalf discusses why certain behaviors in relationships can be mistaken for positive signs, introducing the Pace Test as a tool for evaluation.
Today I’m not doing the standard “look for red flags” thing. Ugh, I hate that phrase. It puts the whole burden on you to spot something that, by its nature, doesn’t look like a flag at all. (And then when you don’t see it, somehow that’s your fault? Nope. Stop. We’re not doing that here.) The reason red flags feel like green flags is that high-intensity behaviors mimic the outputs of real love, things like attention, certainty, and devotion, without including any of the inputs , things like time, consistency, and being actually known. So today I’m walking you through eight specific behaviors that consistently get mistaken for green flags, plus one tool, the Pace Test, that does the work of all of them at once. You’re going to leave with a real radar for this. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/red-flags-look-like-green-flags Free Download: Is This a Green Flag or Just a Fast Flag?: A Quick Self-Check for Early Dating . Use this tool the next time you’re in early dating, or to look back honestly at a past relationship and see what you might have been picking up on: https://abbymedcalf.com/green-flag-fast-flag Join my online community…
People in this episode
Host: Dr. Abby Medcalf
Topics covered
- red flags
- relationships
- dating
- self-awareness
- behavior patterns
Keywords
- red flags
- green flags
- dating advice
- relationship patterns
- Pace Test
More episodes of Relationships Made Easy
- 392. How Do You Actually Build Emotional Intimacy?
- 391. How Do You Know If You’re Really in Love?
- 389. Why You Always Feel Like an Afterthought
- 388. Why Fairness Is Destroying Your Relationship
- 387. Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Partner
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