3D? Yes!

This one is a day late. who cares? Time is a meaningless construct that we stake a good part of our existence on and for what? So we can be stressed in rush hour that we are going to be late for our jobs that don't matter? Tomorrow is yesterday, next week is Thursday, who cares.3dyespodcast@gmail.com

Did you guys ever get Mega Bloks instead of Legos? They were always like a little cheaper and your grandma would get them because she'd be like "they won't know the difference." But the plastic is a little bit different and then if you mix them with your other Legos they'd never quite fit right? They also had more of a rounded cobblestone type edge instead of the flush Lego edge so they didn't really match either. Although, Mega Bloks did do this cool dragon set and they released a movie called Dragons Fire and Ice which I remember thinking was pretty neat. However, I did just watch the trailer and it looks like straight hot garbo which begs the question, did the movie change, or did I? What happened to the bright eyed whimsical lens in which I used to see the world? Have I been morphed with age into a Mega Block who doesn't quite fit in with the flushed edges of what is around me? Things used to be so simple man.

My phone filters out spam texts but my iMessage (I have an iPhone and I think that is pretty farm forward) is connected to my laptop and my laptop does not filter out spam messages. So, when I log into my laptop I will sometimes get notifications from spam messages that are like days old. Usually I just tune them out but I just get hit with this really beauty from kristincox2656jgw@outlook.lv and she's lonely and, "open to using intimate accessories." So, pretty forward from Kristin if I'm honest. Lathering it on a little thick if you ask me. Sometimes you gotta respond to the spam texts and sometimes you just gotta let em sit in it. The other day my dad actually got a call from a spammer and he asked him his name and then started to lecture him about getting a better job. The spammer hung up on my dad, but I like to think he really took a hard long think about his life and his career choices. He probably hung up his proverbial spamming spurs and finally went out there to build his tech app. That spammer? His name was Steve Jobs. Wow. Can you believe it? 3dyespodcast@gmail.com

Me? Have I ever been in a fight? No way man, I'm a lover, there's no way no how you'd catch me in a fight. However, one time in middle school there was this older kid who I challenged to a fight and he rightfully whooped my ass. Slammed my head into a locker like six times, really hurt. I deserved it though, I was like "let's fight" and he said "no" but I said "let's fight" like six more times so we did. He rightfully whooped my ass. Slammed my head into a locker like six times. No concussion though. Later that year I did get a concussion actually, I got hip checked on a big patch of ice and good night. I was out for like a full minute. I dreamed about swimming and woke up with a nasty headache. Got to stay home from school the next day, no TV though, because of the concussion.3dyespodcast@gmail.com

Joe had the freaking audacity to text me and say, and I quote, "For the description of this episode I want you to mention I edited out about a million sniffles on my end because holy this fella was sniffin." ew dude. What the actual even heck is this dude doing man. I have so little in my life. All I've got is writing these descriptions and my Thursday night backgammon game with Ricky down at the park. He's this old blind war vet and he'd got a heart of gold. And you're telling me that now Joe wants to talk away half of all the things I've got? Well congratulations Joe. You're sniffly and that made it into the description. You want to talk about sick and sniffly? Well Ricky is all sniffles because he lost his left sinus in the war and sounds like a freaking exhaust pipe when he breaths. It's disgusting. It really takes me out of the backgammon game but I put up with it because of his heart of gold. I actually got a really bad sinus infection a couple of years ago and Ricky offered to give me his right one via transplant. I said no because that dude has our Thursday backgammon game and that's it. Talk about an empty life. Heart of gold on this guy but not much of a social life outside of Thursday backgammon. Anyways, send Joe hate mail.3dyespodcast@gmail.com3dyes.pod

Luke says this one is the 18th game and the 19th episode which clearly demonstrates that he don't know math for nothin'. What? Did they not talk about a game for an episode? Luke is out here believing he had a whole episode without a game. It's the 17th episode and the 18th game. Read one book my guy. A single book will do you some good. Which, speaking of, did you guys ever read that book Bridge to Terabithia? The one where that kid drowns in a river because her bridge is a rope? First of all, ropes aren't bridges, they're ropes, grow up. Second of all, that book was one of my first exposures to death because I'm privileged and it like deeply messed me up. All other stories I had ever read ended happy and then this one is like boom time, dead girl. I hoped and prayed that the book would end with her coming back and she did not because she is graveyard dead. Also, and last thing, I could have sworn the girl in the movie of that book was a Fanning but it's not. It's AnnaSophia Robb. What a world man.Some nasty words in this episode. Watch your ears folks.3dyespodcast@gmail.com

Wake up losers, it's the sleepy episode. That's right, the sun is asleep, the moon is out, and mom and dad aren't coming home. They left you all alone because you were causing pressures in their marriage that they didn't expect. It was either leave you alone or get a divorce and they chose the former. Better one lonely child than two sad adults right? I mean you have your whole life ahead of you! You're going to be okay! Pick yourself by the bootstraps! Might I add, by the way, that the expression "pick yourself up by the bootstraps" doesn't make any sense and it stupid. If you could pick yourself up by the bootstraps you'd be flying. If anyone ever says that to me again I swear I'm going to invoice them for my next therapy session in which I unpack my feelings of responsibility regarding the divorce of my parents. 3dyespodcast@gmail.com

"Neigh neigh" says the horse, and "Nay Nay!" is what I say to income inequality. Now all you jerks who keep saying that horses are better allies than me can back off. Also, did you know that horses have weird little fingers under their horse shoes? Seriously. Weird little freaky alien fingers. Do you want them championing your rights? Or me, a guy with a podcast. Think about that one. 3dyespodcast@gmail.com

My favourite Lego set? I'm glad you asked friend. It's a complicated story. When I was a kid, my mom would give us $100 to spend on our birthdays on whatever we wanted. So, I went to the toy store and there were these cool ass sets called "Dino-Attack." Look them up right now, they are wild. Anyways, the one I wanted was a freaking helicopter shooting lasers at a freaking t-rex, it was valued at exactly $100. Then I saw that I could get a Harry Potter dragon Lego and some other Lego I don't even remember for $100. My kid brain said two is better than one so I did not get the Dino-Attack set. Now, it's 2026 and I'm still regretting it. To add insult to injury, JK Rowling is a terf and she big time sucks. Learn from me, be better, buy the Dino-Attack.3dyespodcast@gmail.com

Everyone's always on Disney's jock acting like they are a big deal. "oh cool theme park, cool movie, cool branded diapers." And I'm like "whatever dude. Did Disney ever release a 3Ds podcast? No." But then the guy whose house I'm in is all like "why are you in my house? I'm calling the cops." So then I'm on the run, leaping over hedges and stuff because this dude called the cops, all because I broke into his house to tell him about my 3Ds podcast. Cancel culture is so crazy dude.3Dyespodcast@gmail.com

This week is our first twofer. We play two games and that is twice as many as one but one less than three. In the show "30 Rock" there is a character who they nickname Twofer who is played by Keith Powell. They call him that because he is a Black guy and a Harvard Guy. Luke and Joe are white and didn't go to Harvard so if either of them worked for the show in "30 Rock" they would probably have a different nickname. Maybe they'd call us "The High Flying Kids." Yeah, "The High Flying Kids" is cool. If you know Tina Fey, maybe you could ask her if that's what they'd call us. Get back to me on that.

Watch out The Big Apple! Heads up Far East! Buckle up Space! That's right, Luke and Joe travel to all these locations in the third dimensionist adaptation of everyone's favourite traffic (and tax) dodging frog. I'm serious about that tax dodging thing. One of these days Frogger is going to the slammer and everyone is going to be confused except me because I know. Why do you think Frogger is always dashing through traffic? He's fleeing the IRS.

A real heavy hitter this time. WarioWare Gold is what we play and it's probably the best WarioWare game ever made. So far the 3DS is nothing but bangers. Maybe it's the perfect console? Maybe there are no bad games on it at all? Maybe god is real and he is speaking to us through the 3DS? Maybe all of this, the turmoil, the euphoria, all serves the bigger picture? Maybe it's a tapestry being woven with WarioWare Gold at the focal point?