Saying "NO" is hard | 9toFI 040
From 9 to FI - Financial Independence Conversations by Elliot and Josh
April 27, 2026 · 42 min · Season 1 · Episode 40
About this episode
Josh and Elliot discuss the challenges of saying no in various aspects of life, including work and personal relationships, while sharing personal experiences and strategies for setting boundaries.
The Power of Saying No: Boundaries at Work, with Family, and with YourselfJosh and Elliot discuss how to say no to bosses, coworkers, friends, family, and oneself, reflecting on their shared people-pleasing tendencies. They open with accountability updates (Josh scheduling a colonoscopy; Elliot struggling to restart workouts after illness and foot pain), then share examples of difficulty setting boundaries, including Josh’s guilt over refusing Elliot’s brake help but spending a Sunday fixing another friend’s brakes after giving bad advice. Josh describes learning to say no at work by clarifying priorities and negotiating tradeoffs to avoid burnout, influenced by ideas like Cal Newport’s, while Elliot notes that extra effort isn’t always rewarded and emphasizes focusing on the most impactful work. They contrast work boundaries with the harder emotional challenge of saying no to friends and family, discuss regret and FOMO, and address saying no to oneself by limiting new projects, side hustles, and time commitments in early retirement. 00:00 Why Saying No Matters 01:14 Accountability Buddy Check In 03:59 The Brake Job Karma Story 06:28 Saying No at Work 11:15 Quality Over Quantity…
People in this episode
Hosts: Josh, Elliot
Topics covered
- saying no
- boundaries
- people-pleasing
- work-life balance
- emotional challenges
- retirement planning
Keywords
- saying no
- boundaries
- people-pleasing
- work
- family
- retirement
- FOMO
- self-discipline
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