Autism Dadcast

One missed board and one wrong word at in the morning, and Thomas's whole morning falls apart. This week Gaz and Andy unpack how much detail autistic kids track, why a single word can rewrite their day, and how much they understand even mid-meltdown. Plus Lydia becomes swimmer of the week, the new-neighbour conversation every autism parent knows, and an honest, conflicted take on the under-16 social media ban and what it overlooks for autistic teens.Timestamps00:00 Charlie's shop opening and meeting Sophie the BTS superfan02:00 Lydia's swimming breakthrough: swimmer of the week03:40 Thomas's Monday meltdown: how one wrong word derailed the morning06:10 He knew the score: what the meltdown hid09:15 The new neighbour, the fence, and explaining autism again11:05 Attention to detail: the thing they do best14:35 The under-16 social media ban: where we land26:15 What the ban gets wrong about autistic kidsLatest episode and Discord in the link tree in our bio. Merch from Neurospicy & Co at neurospicyandco.uk, 10% off with code DADCAST.

You can know your child inside out and still be blindsided in the space of a week.This one starts with Thomas opening the front door and wandering off down a hill in a quiet Shropshire village - the same week Lydia did almost exactly the same thing. From there it runs into the half-term chaos that brought biting back out of nowhere, the dread of summer toilet training and puberty creeping into view, and a proper kicking of the Department for Education for handing SEND to Gemma Collins after the white paper left families feeling gaslit.Underneath the rage and the dark humour, it lands somewhere quieter. Gaz and Andy talk about the pre-autism photos, the grief that takes turns between two parents, and the two-second forehead touch that says everything a spoken "I love you" never will.You'll come away realising two things can be true at once. You can grieve the life you pictured and still get up and be the dad your kid actually needs.

Adam Parkinson came on this week. One of the Two Mr. Ps. Teaching assistant. Podcaster. Dad of two — a 10-year-old daughter and a 7-year-old autistic son called Max.We talked about Max. We talked about the plane aisle moment his wife filmed without telling him, that went viral and started everything. We talked about siblings, and what it means to watch your daughter try not to look upset when her brother destroys her Barbie Dream House. We talked about online trolls, the dads' WhatsApp group, and the time a stranger told him celebrating his son's diagnosis was "like celebrating your kid having cancer."And we talked about the moment in Popeye's last weekend when Max tried a chicken tender for the first time, looked up, and said one word he'd never said before.Timestamps:0:00 — SATs week, Popeye's, and a school uniform standoff3:00 — Meet Adam and the family4:00 — Spotting it during lockdown5:18 — You're allowed to mourn the life you planned6:23 — The plane aisle video that started everything8:31 — Isla, sibling of the year10:55 — When the Barbie Dream House got destroyed11:53 — You can never relax13:16 — What people don't understand until they live it15:14 — The small wins nobody else sees17:25 — Autism top trumps and 23 hours awake18:30 — Handling violent moments differently after the community20:07 — Verdict. Great. Outstanding.21:25 — Are dads in the SEND world overlooked?24:33 — Permission to talk26:55 — The celebrating cancer comment28:13 — Chubby Tommy Robinson and other DMs31:51 — The dads' WhatsApp army38:33 — Two Mr. Ps and how it started49:17 — Pen licences and getting recognised in your swimming shorts59:55 — Adam's advice to a dad at diagnosis

We put two sets of questions to the community. One for dads, one for mums. The dads sent seven. The mums sent seventeen. And most of the mums' questions were about how to get their partner on board.This one hits different. We talk about what happens when you refuse to accept your child's diagnosis. Why dads get left behind. Why mums end up carrying everything. And the moment you have to stop making it about you and start making it about your kid.We also answer the question nobody wants to think about: what do you actually miss? Not the big stuff. The everyday things that every other parent takes for granted.If you're a dad still sitting on the fence, this is the one.Timestamps:0:00 — Marathon panic and stepping in human feces4:39 — Q&A starts: dads' questions5:06 — How did the diagnosis hit you?11:27 — Living in silence and burnout17:33 — Golden hope for adulthood19:25 — Low expectations and why we stop pushing our kids23:05 — Why mums do all the work29:01 — Should the UK adopt autism levels?32:12 — Guilt of calling home from work34:53 — Mums' questions begin35:02 — Why does mum do all the research?39:29 — The wake-up call for dads41:44 — How to support your partner after diagnosis46:42 — Processing trauma of being dismissed52:30 — Coping with isolation1:00:04 — The video that broke us1:02:14 — Advice for grandparents, friends, and family1:10:22 — Coping as a single mum1:14:03 — Keeping calm when professionals fail you1:19:22 — Why is it so hard to be heard?1:22:36 — Unawareness in the medical community1:25:35 — No support after diagnosis1:26:59 — Why aren't there enough specialist schools?1:32:22 — What do dads miss the most?1:36:24 — Supporting a partner as a stepparent1:40:39 — Helping your husband find his tribe

When your autistic child turns 18, you stop being their parent in the eyes of the law. You have to apply to the Court of Protection, pay £850, wait four months, and hope social services don't oppose it. If you don't, hospitals won't listen to you and you can't touch their bank account.We didn't know this. Most parents of young autistic children don't. A petition hit the parliamentary website asking for it to be scrapped for families where a capacity assessment already confirms the child permanently lacks capacity. The government said no.This week we also talk about Andy's relationship breaking down, what it's like becoming one of the statistics, and the growing pile of comments from people telling us we're doing this wrong. From "did you ask your daughter's permission" to "autism doesn't exist, it's just bad parenting" from a mainstream teacher. We read them out. We don't hold back.Plus the London Marathon is three and a half weeks away. The furthest either of us has run is 5K. Sean has been smashing half marathons. We're in trouble.🔑 Key moments:0:00 — We're back2:02 — Andy's relationship breakdown5:12 — The petition that stopped us scrolling5:38 — What happens when your autistic child turns 186:35 — Deputyship: what it costs and what happens if you don't apply9:05 — The government's response10:35 — London Marathon training (or lack of it)14:06 — £6,559 raised for Ambitions About Autism17:59 — The Cyprus autism half marathon28:26 — How we upset people (reform, pronouns, and profoundly autistic)40:03 — The pronoun comment43:14 — The Hidden 20% podcast backlash45:57 — "Did you ask your daughter's permission?"51:56 — "Classic autism parents making money off their children"53:47 — A teacher who says autism doesn't existIf this episode helped, subscribe and leave a review — it helps other parents find us.#AutismDadcast #Autism #Parenting #Neurodiversity #ASD #SEND

The government's SEND White Paper promises a better system. But what happens when the independent expert on your complaints panel gets outvoted by governors? We asked the Minister directly.Gaz and Andy sat down with Georgia Gould, Minister for Schools, inside the Department for Education to put the questions SEND families are actually asking. The tribunal gap. The complaints panel. The undefined "complex needs" threshold. The workforce that doesn't exist yet.She answered all of it — and some of her answers might surprise you.Key moments:2:10 — The tribunal gap: what parents can and can't challenge4:06 — The complaints panel: can the SEND expert be outvoted?7:05 — Why families still have to go back to their local authority11:02 — The 90% debt write-off: what are the conditions?16:11 — "Complex needs" isn't defined. Who decides?25:21 — The workforce problem: what if the specialists aren't there?This is the conversation the SEND community needed to happen. Whether you leave reassured or more concerned - you need to hear it.

We talk through the latest SEND reform leaks and why the “EHCPs protected until 2030” line doesn’t feel like protection at all. We get into the DfE promo videos, the staged “mainstream SEND classroom” example, and why it looks like the narrative is being set before the white paper drops.Key themes:- EHCPs “protected until 2030” and what that implies after- Mainstream capacity promises vs real-world needsThe stereotype kit: fidgets, coloured cards, tidy optics- Safety Valve scheme and the financial incentive to reduce EHCPs- 90% deficit write-off and the conditions attached- Reform plans, targets, and the fear of rights being weakened- Teacher burnout and what happens when support is missing- The human cost: meltdowns, exclusion, self-harm, families breakingZoom out and it all looks like money first, optics second, and families last. You can’t fix systemic failure with a glossy brochure and a box of fidget spinners. If the plan is to push more kids into mainstream, where’s the plan to build specialist places, train staff properly, and stop the constant crisis management.If you’re living this, you’re not imagining it. You’re not being dramatic. You’re seeing the gap between what they say and what actually happens.

We’ve had SEND reform info leaked from a source being called credible, and it’s been picked up by The i Paper and the Financial Times.If it’s real, it suggests a four tier non-statutory system before a child can even qualify for an EHCP, with the EHCP sitting above it all like some golden ticket. That matters because non-statutory support can’t be appealed, and it basically creates a fail-first pathway where kids have to struggle repeatedly before anyone is legally forced to help.We’re not scaremongering. We’re reading what’s out there and reacting as two dads who’ve lived the EHCP reality and know how bad it already is even with legal rights in place.We talk about what this could mean for families who’ve fought years for an EHCP, whether existing plans would be protected, and why a shift from legal duty to “discretion” is the bit people aren’t clocking yet. The support doesn’t just change, the power changes.We also read a message from a family about a five year old who’s non-verbal, in nappies, and placed in mainstream with unsafe outcomes. That’s happening now, under the current framework. So what happens if the right to challenge disappears and the only thing you can appeal is whether the process was followed.We get into the knock-on effect for teachers, schools, and neurotypical kids too. This isn’t just a SEND issue. If you overload mainstream with needs it can’t meet, it hits everyone, fast.If this goes sideways, the only move is organisation. Flood MPs. Make it the only thing they can’t ignore.

First episode back after Christmas and we're catching up on everything. Andy talks about how lowering expectations made Christmas actually work this year. Gaz shares how Mish built Thomas a cardboard slide and put all his presents at the bottom so he could slide straight into them. Pot of Pringles was one of the presents and that was the win right there.Lydia's eating fried eggs now. Full runny yolk. She's licking butter off toast and kissing TV screens when steaks appear. New foods are landing and nobody knows why but we're taking the wins.We get into the reality of being constantly vigilant. Mish nearly opened the car door to put a bag in while the school bus was there and caught herself just in time because that one move could have derailed the whole morning. That's the chess game we're all playing every single day.The Christmas special at Henry Tudor House went better than expected. People jumped on the mic and shared their stories. Steven came down and blew everyone's minds talking about spellers and non verbal communication. If you haven't watched that clip yet, go find it. Watch it twice.Wednesday we're meeting with the Schools Minister to talk about the SEND white paper. We've got two questions we can ask and we've taken everything the community sent in and boiled it down. We'll see if this is real consultation or just going through the motions.Plus we talk about going number one in Zimbabwe, planning ticketed events, building a Discord server, and whether anyone would actually pay to see two blokes from Shropshire talk about autism.

A mainstream school put their autistic son in a converted staff room and left him there for two years. They called it support.Alan and his wife Alex fought for a specialist placement. Now Magnus is in a school with just 15 children total - five per key stage, one SEN teacher, and four teaching assistants. The transformation has been staggering. He's reading full books out loud for the first time in two years. He's responding to "now and next" language. He understands cause and effect in ways he never did before.But getting here meant watching their son be warehoused in a room where nobody knew how to teach him. The staff were kind. The setting was wrong. And for two years, Magnus was left to his own devices while the system insisted this counted as provision.This conversation captures what "night and day" actually looks like when an autistic child finally lands in the right environment - and the quiet fury of knowing it should never have taken this long.Alan also talks about the hidden logistics of raising Magnus alongside his neurotypical twin sister Freya. The two of them have vastly different needs, and balancing those needs means separate days out, careful attention management, and accepting that equal doesn't always mean identical.Christmas in their household requires military-level planning. Presents hidden in locked cupboards and the boot of the car. Paper wrapped around the top of the stairs to buy an extra hour before the kids come down. Freya tears through her gifts in minutes while Magnus opens one, walks into the kitchen, and doesn't return to the rest for hours. They've learned to let him set the pace.There's also the sibling dynamic that nobody prepares you for. Freya understands Magnus is different. She's fiercely protective of him. When a boy at soft play grabbed Magnus, seven-year-old Freya - who does MMA - Sparta kicked him down the slide. Alan was proud. The other kid was crying. No apologies were offered.And then there's Anne, the next-door neighbour who deserves a shoutout. Magnus has a habit of bouncing on the trampoline and launching everything he owns over the fence. Once a week, Anne returns a carrier bag full of dinosaurs, Teletubbies, and number blocks. Her greenhouse is still standing. Somehow.This episode is honest, funny, and full of the details that only parents living this life would recognise. It's a conversation about what support should look like, what it often doesn't, and the small victories that make the hard days worth it.

Steven has no autistic children. No family connection. No commercial interest. He just watched a movie and couldn't look away.In January, he was driving his van on the M1, listening to a documentary called The Spellers. It's about non-verbal autistic children who learned to communicate by pointing to letters on a board. 48 minutes in, he pulled over and cried.The children in the film all said the same thing: "I'm in here."Since then, he's read over 120 books written by non-speaking autistics and their parents. He's watched every video he could find. He wakes at 4am to research for three hours before his day starts. He's joined 20+ autism groups. He's created a free resource site called Presume Competence.And he has one message for parents: the method has a 100% success rate. No one has ever failed.In this conversation, Steven explains what he's learned — not from professionals, but from the people who've lived it. He talks about optical dyspraxia and why your child might not be able to catch a ball. He explains why screens flicker in ways neurotypical eyes don't notice. He describes the six sensory buckets that overflow into meltdowns. He shares why swimming pools regulate, why routines matter more than we realize, and why time perception might explain everything.He sat with Paddy Curran, a non-speaker from Birmingham, and had a full conversation through a letterboard. Letter by letter. And he nearly cries just talking about it.The spelling board is the world's cheapest education device. The entire internet is built from 26 letters. Your child already knows them. They just need a way to show you.Steven's goal: a spelling practitioner in every town in the UK. Free resources. No cost to learn. Because if your child can point to a letter, they can say anything.This is what presumed competence looks like.

At 10 years old, during lockdown, Charlotte watched a BBC series about autism. She saw herself in it. So she did what most adults wouldn't — she researched it, gathered the evidence, and presented it to her parents.They didn't believe her at first. She didn't fit the stereotype. She wasn't a boy obsessed with trains.She was put on the pathway. She waited 3 years. She went through half of secondary school undiagnosed, unsupported, and struggling.When the diagnosis finally came, it wasn't a surprise. She already knew. It was just clarity — recognition from the outside.But the years without support took their toll. Charlotte developed functional neurological disorder. She had seizures. She ended up in hospital. She left secondary education with no GCSEs.And that's when she started her Instagram account.From a hospital bed, she began sharing her story. She found community. She found purpose. She started speaking out — first online, then at youth parliament, then at Westminster.When Gaz and Andy met her at a rally outside Parliament, she was 16. It was her first ever public speech. She'd never even put her hand up in class before.Now she attends youth parliament every week, sits with councillors and decision-makers, and advocates for the changes she never had.Her mom watches from the sidelines, proud of the daughter who diagnosed herself and fought her own corner when no one else would.This is what's possible when someone finally listens.

This week we're talking about the stuff that keeps you up at night. Gaz shares the story of Thomas falling out of a window and the absolute terror of those few seconds. Andy talks about Lydia choking on a Remembrance Day pin and the chaos of trying to keep these kids safe when danger comes out of nowhere.We get into the freezing weather, the battle to get hats and gloves on kids who hate anything on their heads, and why play barns are basically combat zones for autistic kids trying to navigate neurotypical chaos.Christmas is coming and we're both in different places this year. Andy and Selena are going in with lower expectations and higher acceptance. Gaz is cautiously optimistic that Thomas might actually get what Christmas is this year after spelling Santa and reindeer on his iPad.We talk about teeth brushing struggles, Caesar salad obsessions, school routines that actually work, and why showing a countdown number out loud can ruin a morning. There's also a bit on helping other dads through messages, the importance of reading your kid's notes before appointments, and why some politicians need to shut up about ear defenders.Plus we're gearing up for the Christmas special at Henry Tudor House and marathon training starts soon. If you've been through any of this, you'll recognize every word.