Awesome Marriage Podcast

In this episode of the Awesome Marriage Podcast, Dr. Kim sits down with bestselling author Gary Chapman for a practical and honest conversation about what it really looks like to keep a marriage growing, not just surviving. They talk about why marriages don't just "stay the same," how couples slowly drift without realizing it, and what it takes to stay emotionally connected over time. Gary unpacks how love languages can shift through different seasons of life, why assumptions create so many problems, and how simple things like curiosity, communication, and daily check-ins can completely change the tone of a relationship. If you've ever felt like you and your spouse are just "off" lately, or you want to be more intentional about loving well, this conversation gives you real, doable ways to start moving back toward each other again. Episode Highlights: Without intentional effort, connection naturally fades into distance or "roommate mode." Couples often miss each other because they're expressing love in ways that feel right to them, not in ways that actually land with their spouse. When couples stay teachable and intentional, even conflict becomes an opportunity for deeper connection. Quotes from this Episode: Gary Chapman: "Marriage is either going to grow or regress—there's really no drifting in place." "I don't talk about a perfect marriage. I talk about a growing marriage." "Life satisfaction is found in relationships, not in the accumulation of things." "We cannot read each other's minds—you have to ask questions and listen." "The objective is not to win the argument—the objective is to find a solution together." "It's no fun to live with a loser. Why would you create a loser? You're on the same team." "Love has to be communicated in a way that's meaningful to the other person." Kim Kimberling: "I don't think I'll ever learn everything there is to know about Nancy in a lifetime." "Marriage is an adventure because you're always discovering new things about each other." "If you're not feeling loved, turn into your marriage—not outside of it." "Assumptions in marriage are usually way off." "The distractions we entertain today are often stealing the connection we could be building at home." "There's so much value in the person God put in front of you to do life with." "Small, intentional steps done consistently really do make a difference over time." Time to Talk About it: Where in our marriage are we currently growing—and where might we actually be drifting without realizing it? In what ways am I trying to show love to my spouse, and are those actually the ways they most feel loved? How well do we really ask questions and stay curious about each other instead of assuming we already know what the other thinks or feels? What would it look like for us to build a simple daily rhythm of connection (even 10–15 minutes) to stay emotionally close? Mentioned in This Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Take the Love Languages test. Get your copy of The Love Language That Matters Most. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Unpack what scripture says about how to demonstrate love well in your marriage with our plan: Speak to Their Heart: 5 Ways to Love Your Spouse Well If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

One of the greatest privileges we have as spouses is coming before the Father and lifting up our marriage—leaning on Him for protection, provision, and strength. Today, special guests Brad and Heidi Mitchell join Dr. Kim to talk about how foundational prayer is for intimacy and the overall climate of your marriage. Many couples struggle to develop this rhythm—not because they don't want to, but because they simply don't know where to start. Be encouraged today as Brad and Heidi share from their newest book, Build Your Marriage With Prayer, and talk about how guided prayers, daily readings, and reflection questions can help couples grow a consistent and meaningful prayer life together. Episode Highlights: Husbands don't have to know it all to lead- they can be simply willing to initiate. Wives can come alongside and encourage their husbands to step into the role God created them for. Don't weaponize prayer against your spouse. Quotes from this Episode: Kim Kimberling Quotes: "The first time Nancy and I really started praying for something together and saw God show up, it was like, 'This is awesome.'" "Prayer bonds us together in a way nothing else really can." "Most guys feel inadequate spiritually, but prayer was never about performing." "You don't have to know more than your spouse to lead spiritually—you just have to initiate." "When couples begin praying together, they stop fighting against each other and start fighting for each other." "Inviting God into conflict changes conflict from something destructive into something that can grow your marriage." "The more we pray, the more prayer becomes part of the fabric of who we are." "God wants to be involved in the middle of our everyday lives—not just the big emergencies." "When you pray over your spouse, it creates empathy, connection, and unity." "Prayer gives God a chance to show up in your marriage over and over again." Brad Mitchell Quotes: "A lot of men don't pray with their wives because they're afraid of looking inadequate." "Men don't need to be spiritual experts—they just need to become spiritual initiators." "The things you most want to lean away from are often the very places God wants you to lean in." "When you pray about the issue instead of against each other, nobody wins or loses—God wins." "The enemy whispers, 'You're not good at this,' because he knows how powerful prayer is in marriage." "Every wife would love for her husband to stop and pray over her before the day begins." "Surrendering your schedule to God changes interruptions from frustrations into opportunities." "Prayer protects your marriage because it keeps both of you surrendered to God instead of fighting each other." Heidi Mitchell Quotes: "Make prayer a positive experience for your spouse, not a performance." "There's really no wrong way to come before God together." "Encouragement from a wife can completely change a husband's confidence in leading spiritually." "If prayer becomes weaponized, couples will stop wanting to pray together." "Not every thought deserves a place to stay in your mind." "Ask yourself: Does this thought line up with who God says my spouse is?" "Praying together helped us move from surface-level faith into authentic dependence on God." "When my husband prays for me, I feel protected, cared for, and truly seen." "The spiritual connection we share through prayer has become one of the greatest strengths in our marriage." Time to Talk About it: What would it look like for us to make prayer feel more natural and encouraging in our relationship instead of pressured or performative? Is there an area of our marriage right now where we've been "fighting each other" instead of "fighting for each other," and how could prayer help shift that? Mentioned in this Episode: Build Your Marriage is on Instagram! Purchase your own copy of Build Your Marriage With Prayer! Check out Awesome Marriage's 9 Days to Build the Practice of Prayer in Marriage Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You'll love our 30 Scripture Based Prayers for Your Marriage. Check out it out with your spouse! If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

Marriage was never promised to be easy, light, or always enjoyable—but when both spouses are committed wholeheartedly, it can endure even the hardest seasons. In this episode, Dr. Kim unpacks the foundational truths that help build a healthy, lasting marriage: honest communication, emotional safety, gratitude, faith, and learning how to work through conflict instead of avoiding it. He also shares what it looks like to start fresh without carrying the weight of past mistakes and why the struggles couples face—especially in the early years—don't mean something is wrong. Whether you're newly married or decades in, this episode offers practical encouragement to help you strengthen your relationship and build a marriage grounded in a foundation that lasts. Episode Highlights: "Becoming" is a process and it doesn't happen at the altar. The decisions that shape a marriage most aren't the big dramatic ones. Keep having fun together, year after year. If this is your second marriage- things don't have to be the same! Quotes from this episode: When faith is at the center of your marriage it changes the source of your security. You're no longer looking to your spouse to provide what only God can provide. The first year is not the best year- and that's ok. The friction you feel is not a sign that something is wrong. It's a sign that you are doing the real work of two becoming one. Avoiding the conversation doesn't make the problem disappear. The conversations you tend to avoid are the ones that can make or break a marriage. Your spouse is not a mind reader and neither are you. Communication is not a failure of love. It's an expression of it. The cultural model asks "what am I getting out of this?" The biblical model asks "what am I bringing to this?" Avoidance builds walls. Couples who pray together, seek wisdom together, and bring God into the center or their disagreements have a resource that other couples just don't have. Your spouse should feel like they can be honest with you without being punished for it. If they feel like they have to manage your reactions before they can be truthful, you've built a marriage where honesty is not safe. Life administration isn't connection. Gratitude is a muscle and in marriage it needs regular exercise. Time to talk about it? What do we expect from each other sexually? Are we spiritually moving in the same direction? How was conflict handled in your home growing up? Have we let anything go unaddressed? Are we protecting our time together? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make space to talk about the marriage itself with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide! Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Dr. Kim takes everyday 'traffic signs' that we all encounter and applies them to growing your marriage relationship in this plan: Traffic Signs and Your Marriage - Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

Have you ever gotten to the point in your marriage where your spouse felt more like the enemy than the person you committed to stand by in sickness and in health? What used to feel easy now feels tense. Conversations turn into misunderstandings. Small things feel big. Or maybe it's not conflict, it's distance. You're living side by side, but feeling miles apart. Somewhere along the way, everything started to feel… personal. And today, we're talking about why that happens, and how to change it. Episode Highights: It's not you vs. your spouse. It's you both vs the pattern. Your thought life shapes your marriage Healing and gratitude change everything. Quotes from Today's Episode: One moment doesn't define your marriage.- Mrs. Nancy The more I'm grateful for who Nancy is in my life, it's so much easier to say "no, I'm not talking this personal." People get ticked off for so many easy things nowadays and it's easy to get sucked into that. We don't want to look at ourselves. If I can blame Nancy then I can stay with that and not have to blame myself. God had to work on me. Our negative thinking can take over so much of the time. That negative thought process- and I have to go back to Romans 12: 2. Renewing our mind. That's the key.- Mrs. Nancy If there are old wounds, we have to take care of those. Time to Talk About it: Do you feel like I do things just to upset you? If so, how can we resolve this? List out 5 things you are grateful for about your spouse. Share them with one another. Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Unmet expectations can wreak havoc on your marriage. You need this brand new resource: The Marriage Expectations Worksheet Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Summer is coming and the beach is calling, and the Lord can use the ocean to speak encouragement into your marriage- see for yourself Islands, Tides and the Deep: A Marriage Message from the Sea If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer this month, you'll receive our brand new Marriage Expectations Worksheet. This powerful tool is going to change the way you think about and talk about expectations in your marriage.

Blended families are beautiful—but they're also complex. When two lives, two histories, and often two sets of kids come together, figuring out what "family" looks like can feel overwhelming. From divided loyalties and differing parenting styles to navigating ex-spouses, finances, and faith, blended families face unique challenges that many couples aren't prepared for. In this episode, we're joined by Ron Deal, director of FamilyLife Blended and author of The Smart Stepfamily. Ron shares practical wisdom, biblical insight, and deep encouragement for couples navigating stepfamily life. We talk about earning influence before exercising authority, managing divided loyalties, setting realistic expectations, and protecting your marriage while building unity in your home. Whether you're part of a blended family or love someone who is, this conversation offers real hope, grace-filled guidance, and a reminder that healthy blended families are built over time—on purpose, and with God at the center. Episode Takeaways: Blended families are not repairs of biological families. Creating a blended family involves new rules and dynamics. Respect and communication are key. Quotes from this Episode: "You are not repairing a biological family structure. You are creating an entirely new blended family structure where the rules are different." -Ron Deal "To be a great co-parent, you need to act divorced—respect your boundaries, let go of control, and focus on parenting your own way."- Ron Deal "Stop pretending you have the right to influence your ex's choices. You can share your preferences respectfully, but after that, let go and parent your own way." - Ron Deal "Your spouse is the most important adult relationship in your life—honor that allegiance, but never abandon your children." - Ron Deal "You cannot demand love out of a child. That's something they decide on their time."- Ron Deal "If you support the stepparent in front of your kids, if you are a team member in the parenting system, then your blended family has a chance." -Ron Deal "You cannot have two parenting styles under one roof; blended families thrive when standards are more alike than different."- Ron Deal Questions to Talk Through: Where do we feel the most tension in our blended family right now—and how can we face it together instead of alone? What is one way we can better support each other when parenting, scheduling, or outside relationships feel overwhelming? What does "progress" look like for our family in this season, even if it doesn't look perfect yet? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Ron and Nan Deal wrote The Mindful Marriage- it's a MUST read for all couples. Blended family? The Smart Stepfamily needs to be your next read! Check out more of what Ron is doing HERE. Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Caught in the trap of negativity towards your spouse? Start our Lord, Help my Critical Heart reading plan today. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

When we hear the word foreplay, most of us immediately think about the bedroom. But intimacy in marriage was never meant to be confined to a single moment behind closed doors. Today, we're talking about foreplay 24/7/36 the idea that emotional, spiritual, and relational connection is built continually, hour by hour, day by day. We'll explore how intentional connection outside the bedroom sets the stage for deeper intimacy inside it, why this matters so much for the health of our marriage, and how small, everyday choices can radically change the temperature of our relationship. Episode Highlights: What happens in the bedroom is directly affected by what happens outside the bedroom. There are five types of intimacy that every strong marriage needs. The goal is not perfection, it's progress. Quotes from this Episode: When couples neglect the other four intimacies and they only focus on the physical the relationship becomes transactional sex becomes about physical release instead of real connection. - Dr. Kim That's often how affairs begin, not with physical attraction, but with unmet emotional needs. - Dr. Kim When intimacy is only in the bedroom, the temperature of the marriage runs cold. - Dr. Kim Replace bad patterns with good ones. Don't just stop the negative, start positive. Instead of scrolling, ask about their day. Instead of logistics, share something you're grateful for about them and finally give each other grace. -Dr. Kim When you come home, prioritize your spouse above anything else. -Dr. Kim When there's unresolved tension,when there's hurt or anger or distance, that vulnerability feels unsafe. -Dr. Kim Awkward is better than distant. Have the conversation. -Dr. Kim Intimacy isn't built in a single grand gesture. It's rebuilt, one conversation, one touch, one prayer at a time. -Dr. Kim Questions Worth Discussing: What's one moment from today (or this week) where we felt connected—or disconnected—and why do you think that was? Did anything in the episode help you see everyday moments differently when it comes to intimacy or connection? What's one small thing we could do differently this week to stay more connected outside the bedroom? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week! Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !