Better Loving, by Laura Ellen

Links & Resources:Work with LauraSubscribe to SubstackMusic by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.Episode Summary:Cue that moment when you realise you might actually be the common denominator in your relationships. This episode dives into why we lose our power when we stay stuck in victim mentality, drama cycles, and blame, and how embracing radical self-responsibility and self-ownership can transform the way you relate to others. I explore the importance of healthy boundaries, secure attachment, and releasing anger and resentment, offering insights into how owning your 50% can unlock more empowered, authentic relationships across friends, family, money, and lovers.Key Topics:Victim mentality and its impact on personal powerRecognising drama cycles in relationshipsRadical self-responsibility and self-ownershipHealthy relationships and secure attachmentReleasing anger and resentmentSetting and maintaining boundariesEnding blame and reclaiming your powerDisclaimer:This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact hello@laura-ellen.com.© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources:Work with LauraSubscribe to SubstackMusic by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.Episode Summary:In this episode, we explore the question many people quietly live inside of: Should I stay, or should I go? Rather than offering a definitive answer, this conversation invites deeper self-responsibility around indecision, ambivalence, and commitment in intimate relationships. We look at how lack of clarity erodes connection, how toxic dynamics are co-created, and what it actually takes to relate from a secure, conscious place. This episode supports listeners to slow down, ask better questions, and discern whether they are choosing from fear, habit, or genuine devotion—before making life-altering relationship decisions.Key Topics Covered:Conscious relating and secure attachmentIndecision, ambivalence, and the cost of not choosingToxic relationship dynamics and shared responsibilityDevotional love, commitment, and emotional maturityConflict, blame, and drama cyclesTrying to change your partner vs accepting realityCompromise vs self-abandonmentConsenting vs accommodatingKnowing when to stay, when to leave, and how to tell the differenceBreakup realities and relational discernmentBetter questions to ask yourself before ending (or deepening) a relationshipDisclaimer:This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact hello@laura-ellen.com.© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources:Work with LauraSubscribe to SubstackMusic by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.Episode Summary:In this episode of the Better Loving podcast, Laura Ellen is joined by Rebecca Bee Gunson for a grounded and honest conversation about the heart as a central pathway to intimacy, integrity, and embodied aliveness. Together, they explore how social conditioning, relational harm, and the misuse of sexuality can lead to emotional shutdown—and what it takes to gently restore trust, pleasure, and connection within the body. This episode speaks to the courage required to remain open-hearted, to feel and hold love without collapsing or over-functioning, and to cultivate intimacy that is rooted in respect, agency, and emotional maturity.Key Topics Explored:Healing the heart after relational and cultural woundingHeart de-armouring and its role in intimacy and embodimentThe relationship between emotional openness and sexual vitalityIntegrity, consent, and responsibility in intimate relationshipsThe courage and resilience of the feminine heartSocial and cultural factors that contribute to emotional shutdownDeveloping the capacity to feel and hold love in the bodyPower dynamics, manipulation, and the misuse of sexualityDisclaimer:This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact hello@laura-ellen.com.© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources:Work with LauraSubscribe to SubstackMusic by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.Episode Summary:In this episode, I explore the lingering effects of sexual shame and the cultural messages that have long tried to define and confine women. I share my own journey of confronting uncomfortable and painful experiences with sexuality, unpack where sexual shame comes from, how it shows up in our bodies and relationships, and ways to reclaim confidence and pleasure. This episode is for women ready to break free from cultural stigma, step into their authentic sensuality, and live more fully and fearlessly.Key Topics Covered:Personal experiences with sexual shame and discomfortOrigins of sexual shame in culture and historyHow sexual shame manifests in the body and mindThe impact of shame on relationships and self-expressionPractical ways to release shame and reconnect with authentic sexualityDisclaimer:This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact hello@laura-ellen.com.© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources:Work with LauraSubscribe to SubstackMusic by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.Episode Summary:In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Podcast, I dive into why so many of us struggle to ask for what we want in the bedroom—and how to move past patterns of shrinking, freezing, or over-controlling. I share practical tools to build confidence, communicate desires with clarity, and create a culture of feedback in your intimate life, alongside techniques for self-soothing, self-pleasure, and connecting with partners in new, empowered ways.Key Topics Covered:Understanding how expressing desire is connected to how we receive others’ needsReceiving feedback with ease and graceCreating a feedback-positive culture in intimacyCommunication techniques beyond the bedroomMy “Loves, Loathes, Lusts” sharing practice for couples and loversExamining personal assertive patternsSignature process for in-the-moment self-soothingSelf-pleasure practices and embodiment exercisesDisclaimer:This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact hello@laura-ellen.com.© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources:Work with Laura: www.laura-ellen.com/contactSubscribe to Substack: Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here: Episode Summary:In this episode, I explore desire as a vital psychological and somatic force, not just something linked to sex, but something that shapes our motivation, choices, and sense of aliveness. Drawing from tantric philosophy, embodiment practices, and lived experience, I reflect on how desire can be clarified, listened to, and worked with in a grounded and ethical way. We look at what happens when desire is distorted by conditioning, unconscious patterns, or external expectations, and how reconnecting with authentic desire can support clearer decision making, sustainable action, and personal agency. This is an invitational conversation about learning to relate to desire with curiosity and responsibility, rather than urgency or self judgment.Key Topics Covered:Expanding desire beyond a sex focused framework into a whole of life experienceA tantric perspective on desire and life force energyIdentifying authentic desire versus conditioned wantingThe role of the subconscious in shaping what we pursue and avoidDesire as a source of empowerment rather than pressureWhat manifestation requires beyond intention and positive thinkingTranslating desire into grounded action and clear strategyDisclaimerThis podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact hello@laura-ellen.com.© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources:Work with LauraAbout LauraSubscribe to SubstackMusic by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here.Episode Summary:In this episode, I explore emotional shutdown during sex and how to move through it with ease, presence, and pleasure. I share tools and practices to help you stay embodied, navigate your inner landscape, and create a sexual culture that feels nourishing and authentic. We discuss understanding the mind as a coping mechanism, identifying safety needs, cultivating intimacy through authenticity, and using self-pleasure as a form of care and healing. This episode offers practical guidance for creating connection, pleasure, and freedom in your sexual experiences.Key Topics Covered:Recognising why sex can feel like an emotional landmine and how to move through itBecoming aware of your inner landscape during sex and self-pleasureUnderstanding the mind as a coping tool in the bedroom and in lifeNavigating sexual healing with care and safetyIdentifying your safety needs including accelerators, brakes, and maintenance requirementsDeconditioning limiting patterns around sexCultivating intimacy as authenticity in connectionUsing self-pleasure as an expression of care and healingCreating a sexual culture that is nourishing, fulfilling, and pleasurableTitrating towards orgasm and staying present through the experienceDisclaimerThis podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact hello@laura-ellen.com.© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources:Work with Laura: https://laura-ellen.com/contactAbout Laura: https://laura-ellen.com/aboutSubscribe to Substack: https://substack.com/@bylauraellen?Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7CQmZy8qRGBKGAaUcBCRXwEpisode Summary:In this shame free and judgement free episode, I explore vibrators, clitoral stimulation, and how self pleasure can become a more connected, embodied, and nourishing experience. Rather than focusing on performance or outcomes, this conversation invites a broader understanding of pleasure as something that can be trained, expanded, and integrated into the whole body. I speak to the physiology of stimulation, the nervous system, and how habitual patterns can shape what we feel and expect from pleasure. This episode is an invitation to approach self pleasure with curiosity, intention, and care, supporting not only more satisfying orgasmic experiences, but greater wellbeing, self awareness, and choice.Key Topics Covered:How vibrators and stimulation interact with the nervous systemUnderstanding desensitisation, numbing, and pleasure toleranceTraining the body for a wider range of pleasurable experiencesClitoral care, sensitivity, and conscious touchSharing pleasure and learning from pleasure based practicesUsing breath to support expanded orgasmic statesMoving toward holistic self pleasure rather than goal focused releaseCreating intentional self pleasure sessionsThe relationship between pleasure, regulation, and overall wellbeingDisclaimerThis podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact hello@laura-ellen.com.© Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe