Beyond the Facade with Choose Recovery Services

What keeps men hiding — even after they’ve been caught?In this powerful conversation, Luke Gordon and Ryan Collins, a peer mentor for Choose Recovery support groups, unpack the role humility plays in recovery from betrayal, addiction, shame, and relational disconnection.Ryan vulnerably shares how fear, image protection, and shame kept him stuck in trickle truth for months — and how surrender and authenticity ultimately became the very thing that saved his marriage.Together they explore:The difference between humiliation and humilityWhy men protect their identity after getting caughtHow shame fuels defensiveness and trickle truthWhy accountability creates connectionHow honesty became the very thing that saved Ryan’s marriageThe role of vulnerability, empathy, and surrender in healingChapters01:31 Meet Ryan03:49 Pillar One: Self Honesty07:59 Trickle Truth and Surrender12:25 Pillar Two: Being Influenced18:48 Accountability in Conflict22:24 Pillar Three: Identity Release29: 59 Freedom and Daily Practice32:45 EncouragementWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***🌴NEW: Couples Retreat in Costa Rica! - If you are in a stable place in your relationship and want to reconnect, regulate, and rediscover each other, we invite you to our couples breathwork retreat. Register by May 31st to get our early-bird pricing - $600 OFF!🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

You don’t need more information—you need a new response.In this episode, Luke Gordon breaks down one of the most critical (and overlooked) skills in recovery: emotional maturity under pressure.You’ll learn:Why your body reacts before your mind can catch upThe real definition of emotional maturity (it’s not what you think)How to create “the pause” that prevents damage in relationshipsWhat responsibility actually looks like in real-time conflictIf you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, defensive, or out of control during hard conversations—this episode gives you a practical path forward.Chapters02:46 What Emotional Maturity Is04:02 Reactivity to Responsibility07:08 The Power of the Pause09:40 Communicate the Pause11:54 Return and Repair14:26 Practice and Next StepsWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERENEW at Choose Recovery Services!Wired for Pain - Join us April 26th for a FREE webinar for couples. Discover how your brain and body may be “wired” by past pain—and why that wiring keeps you stuck in patterns you can’t seem to break. This free webinar reveals the hidden connection between trauma, behavior, and healing, giving you practical tools to finally move from survival mode into lasting change.Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Healing after betrayal is one of the hardest journeys a couple can face — especially when both partners want the relationship to work but feel stuck in the same painful patterns.This week Luke and Alana dive into one of the biggest challenges in betrayal recovery: Why progress in personal recovery doesn’t always translate into relational healing.You’ll learn:Why many men struggle to show empathy after betrayalThe difference between individual recovery and relational repairWhat betrayed partners truly need to feel safe againHow emotional regulation impacts healingWhy healing after betrayal is often “Olympic-level emotional work”If you’re trying to rebuild trust, understand your partner’s pain, or move forward after betrayal, this conversation will help you see the process more clearly — and remind you that healing is possible.Don’t Miss Out!If you connected with this conversation, we invite you to learn more about our Help Her Heal men’s intensive and support groups. Reach out to find out which option may be right for you! (702) 277-9145 | info@chooserecoveryservices.comWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. Also explore attending our Help Her Heal men’s support group. A new group starts in April!🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Apologies don’t automatically heal betrayal.In fact, many people in recovery unknowingly continue hurting their partner through subtle defensive reactions, shutdown patterns, and attempts to control the healing process.In this episode, Luke explores betrayal violence — a concept from Hope Ray that explains how relational harm can continue long after the original betrayal.You’ll learn:Why saying “I’m sorry” often isn’t enoughThe destructive communication patterns that deepen betrayal traumaThe ABC pattern behind reactive behaviorWhy shame and defensiveness sabotage repairHow awareness and accountability help rebuild safetyGo deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups. Chapters01:04 When Sorry Isn’t Enough02:31 Betrayal Violence04:55 Why These Patterns Form07:19 Common Harmful Responses10:53 The ABC Pattern12:01 The Floating Saint13:55 Accountability Without ShameWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. 🧘Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is May 5th-8th, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Resentment doesn’t always look like anger. Sometimes it hides behind effort, silence, or “doing everything right.”This week Luke joins Alana Gordon on her podcast, Choose To Be, to explore how powerlessness and entitlement quietly fuel resentment, especially in recovery after betrayal or compulsive sexual behavior.Together they unpack:Why resentment often goes unnoticed until it causes damageHow silent scorekeeping creates emotional distanceThe link between resentment, entitlement, and relapse riskWhy awareness alone isn’t enough–and what actually leads to healingChapters04:05 Personal Experiences with Resentment07:22 Silent Scorekeeping09:45 Entitlement and Passive Aggressiveness12:00 Processing Resentment and Finding Power16:35 Practical Steps to Address Resentment23:49 T-ball AnalogyWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. ✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

Stopping the behavior isn’t the same as healing.This week Luke breaks down why addiction is not a willpower problem—but a self-perpetuating system. Drawing from Patrick Carnes’ addictive system framework, this episode explains why sincere motivation often isn’t enough, why relapse happens even when behavior stops, and what true recovery actually requires.You’ll learn:Why addiction operates as a closed-loop systemHow shame and secrecy fuel relapseThe hidden role of core beliefs and impaired thinkingWhy partners often feel unsafe even after behavior stopsWhat it means to interrupt addiction upstreamThis episode is essential for anyone stuck in the cycle—or who loves someone who is.Go deeper into this healing work by joining one of our Phase 2 Beyond the Facade Men’s groups. Chapters01:11 Understanding Addiction as a System04:14 The Role of Core Beliefs in Addiction05:29 Impaired Thinking and Its Impact07:12 The Addictive Cycle Explained10:07 The Importance of Addressing Secrecy11:24 Partner's Perspective and System-Level WorkWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now! ❤️‍🩹Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. 🦋Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women.✨Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. 💵We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for our intensives. Connect With Us:Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

Sobriety doesn’t automatically create emotional safety—and partners know it.This week Luke and Alana introduce parts work as a core Phase Two recovery framework. If you’ve ever felt emotionally hijacked, confused by your reactions, or ashamed that recovery still feels chaotic, this conversation names what’s actually happening beneath the surface.You’ll learn:Why emotional contradictions aren’t a character flawHow protector parts drive addiction and defensivenessThe difference between sobriety and self-leadershipWhy accountability increases—not decreases—with parts workThis episode is essential for individuals and couples navigating betrayal trauma, emotional whiplash, and the deeper work of relational healing.Chapters00:45 Introduction to Phase Two and Parts Work02:58 Emotional Hijacking06:31 The Role of Protector Parts15:29 Self-Leadership and Emotional Maturity21:42 Relational Impact and Partner’s RoleWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now!Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica - Ready to experience deep somatic healing? Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women March 17th-20th, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful. Help Her Heal Men’s Intensive - This immersive intensive is designed specifically for men to learn how to support their partners as they heal from betrayal trauma. You will participate in experiential workshops, receive personalized feedback, and learn practical tools to develop the emotional capacity needed for relationship repair. Join us April 14th-17th in Spanish Fork, UT. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

What happens when you’ve done everything right in recovery — and something still feels unresolved?In this deeply honest episode, Luke shares why he’s stepping away from Choose Recovery Services for a season — not because of relapse, but because healing sometimes requires going deeper than insight, willpower, or knowledge.Joined by Alana Gordon, this conversation explores:Why recovery isn’t linearThe fear of “what if it doesn’t work?”Somatic healing and trauma stored in the bodyDifferentiation between partners in long-term recoveryWhy stepping back can actually be an act of leadershipIf you’re a betrayed partner wondering if real healing is possible — or someone in recovery who feels stuck despite “doing the work” — this episode offers honesty, hope, and permission to keep going.Chapters00:26 Announcement From Luke03:19 Luke’s Decision to Step Away04:59 Alana’s Perspective on Healing07:22 The Importance of Somatic Healing10:01 Challenges and Realizations in Recovery23:02 Trust and Autonomy in Relationships33:18 Future PlansWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERERegister Now!Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

What does real healing look like after betrayal?This week Chance and Crystal join Luke for an honest conversation about boundaries, nervous system healing, resentment, parts work, and rebuilding safety after years of secrecy.Learn how Phase One stabilizes the relationship and how Phase Two transforms grief into connection.Perfect for individuals and couples seeking guidance, clarity, and hope.Chapters01:24 Meet Chance and Crystal02:07 Chance and Crystal’s Personal Story07:01 The Importance of Self-Care and Boundaries21:12 Navigating Resentment24:05 Establishing Boundaries and Creating Safety27:21 Safety and Stability28:18 Grieving Together31:56 Navigating Shared Grief and Vulnerability38:18 The Importance of Individual HealingWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE.Register Now!Season of Support - Join us for a 4-week webinar series designed specifically for couples who want to stay connected, emotionally regulated, and intentional during the holidays — rather than simply surviving them. December 1, 8, 15, 22. Register to receive the Zoom link.Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at http://chooserecoveryservices.com

How do you recover when the person you love has betrayed you? Author Michelle Mays (LPC, CSAT-S) joins Luke Gordon to explore The Betrayal Bind — the painful paradox of needing the very person who hurt you. Discover how attachment theory, betrayal trauma, and nervous system science explain what happens after infidelity and how both partners can rebuild trust.Topics include:The three wounds of betrayal: emotional, attachment, and sexualWhy “attachment ambivalence” feels like chaosHow betrayed and betraying partners can reconnect safelyConnect with Michelle:Braving Hope Coaching ProgramRelational RecoveryFacebookBook: The Betrayal Bind💡 Brought to you by Choose Recovery Services — guiding individuals and couples through betrayal trauma recovery.Chapters01:18 Introducing Michelle Mays04:48 The Betrayal Bind07:06 Attachment and Betrayal11:30 Navigating Safe Relationships13:30 Wounds From Betrayal18:04 Sexual Injuries and Recovery21:31 Attachment Ambivalence 28:02 Attunement and Responsiveness 32:08 Building Trust Through ConsistencyWatch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Register Now!Rise, Renew, Restore Somatic Healing Retreat in Costa Rica: Join us this July for a transformative 5-day intensive created specifically for women healing from betrayal trauma or navigating divorce. This is your opportunity to reconnect with your body's wisdom, release what you've been carrying, and heal alongside other women who truly understand your journey. Spots are limited so register early!Revive and Thrive Somatic Intensive for Women - Join us for a transformative four-day somatic healing intensive for women carrying trauma and tension in their bodies. Experience gentle release through expert-guided breathwork, brainspotting, energy healing, and nature immersion as you reclaim your body. Intensive is Jan 27-30, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans (including buy now, pay later options) are available for all of our intensives. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Ready to move beyond “checking the boxes” in recovery? In this powerful conversation, Luke Gordon and Isy Williams, coaches with Choose Recovery Services, explore the turning point when betrayal trauma recovery and sexual addiction recovery shift from something you do to something you live. Through personal stories and hard-won wisdom, they share how emotional healing, integrity, and authentic connection create lasting transformation—and why embracing discomfort is the key to real change.What You'll Learn:The difference between halfway commitment and full immersion in recoveryWhy ownership matters more than compliance or perfectionismHow embracing discomfort leads to authentic transformationLearn more about Isy and book a complimentary session here. Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

What if claiming you’ve shared everything with your partner is actually sabotaging your recovery? In this eye-opening episode, Luke explains why the statement “I’ve told you everything is so damaging. He reveals how recovery works in layers, why humility trumps certainty, and how acknowledging what you don’t know yet actually builds more trust than claiming you know it all.Watch the episode on YouTube ⁠HERE⁠What you’ll learn:Why claiming full awareness breeds stagnation and relapse in recoveryHow denial creates constructed realities that feel safe but aren’t fully trueHow believing you’ve “made it” shuts down growthChapters01:10 The Problem of “I’ve Told You Everything”02:07 Constructed Realities and Denial04:33 Addictive Systems and Belief Structures07:40 The Illusion of Full Awareness13:43 Managing Outcomes vs. Living in Truth15:10 Practical Language for True AwarenessConnect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com

Why is it so hard for a betrayed partner to see the positive changes you’ve made? This week Luke is again joined by Alana Gordon (LMFT, co-owner and founder of Choose Recovery Services, and president of APSATS) and together they delve into the complexities of betrayal trauma healing.Listen in as Luke gives a powerful analogy of hiking with a mountain lion to explain the brain’s constant search for emotional safety. Tune in to learn: The necessity of consistent positive actionsThe importance of letting go of instant validationHow to truly rebuild trust over timeChapters01:17 Understanding Betrayal Trauma01:55 The Mountain Lion Analogy04:11 Emotional Safety and Trust08:57 Advice for Individuals Seeking RecoveryRegister Now!Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Apply for scholarships here. Connect With Us:Learn more about Luke here. Schedule a complimentary consultation here.Don’t miss an episode! Join our email list and get notified when new episodes air! Follow us on Instagram @choose_recovery_services Wanting more? Choose Recovery Services offers many courses specifically for men:Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - This group helps men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Additional Resources from Choose Recovery Services:Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives, available year-round for individuals, couples, and professionals. Our intensives foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Road to Recovery Webinar - Join us on the second Sunday of each month for a FREE interactive discussion that explores tools and strategies to support individuals and couples navigating the challenges of recovery following betrayal. Choose To Be Podcast - This podcast focuses on helping women heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma.Healing Hearts - This is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. Learn more and register for courses at chooserecoveryservices.com